Breaking Up Without Going Broke

Imagine you are in what you believe is a solid relationship, then one day, you find the evidence that you've been lied to, cheated on, betrayed! You've felt in your gut that something was wrong for a long time, but you've ignored it, and now you've found solid proof. You confront your relationship, and rather than admitting guilt and getting an apology, you're lied to, yelled at, and treated like you're the bad one. You discover the shock of being in a narcissistic relationship.

Money Loss

You feel broken, and then your income takes a dramatic drop. You've lost your focus, motivation, and even your memory on what you need to do to generate more income and keep up with expenses.

What’s The Connection?

Curious about my personal experience, I posted a question on a Facebook group I'm in for narcissistic abuse asking if anyone’s income was affected after experiencing trauma from betrayal. To my surprise, I received a large number of comments from other women who had experienced the same thing. Many women were blown away after discovering the connection of the breakdown of their finances and their breakdown from hurt and betrayal.

What If Your Hurt Happened Years Ago?

Regardless of how long ago it happened, it could still be affecting your life and finances today. One woman said that her experience happened 7 years ago, and her funds have never been the same since then.

How Does This Happen?

Most people believe that trauma is only caused by something more serious such as being involved in a war. Though that's true, the leading cause of trauma for many people is actually grief. Grief can come from heartbreak and betrayal.

The Popcorn Effect

When hurt, many people experience what I call the “popcorn effect.” Imagine popcorn kernels being dropped into a big pot of oil without a lid on it, and the popcorn begins to pop fast. The popcorn rises to the top, and the hot kernels are jumping out of the pot and flying everywhere.

The popcorn kernels are the emotions and beliefs that you already have inside of you that have been kept pretty calm up until the hurt happens. This heats the oil, and all of the negative emotions and questions of "why" get popping like crazy so fast that you feel defeated, helpless, and lost

Why is Money Affected By Betrayal Trauma?

Money is energy period, it is either drawn to you or repelled by the energy and the beliefs you are putting out.

Victimization Vibration

Many people will have obsessive thoughts and conversations from morning till night about their hurtful experience. These obsessive thoughts and conversations keep you stuck on a channel that will keep replaying, creating a strong victim vibration that influences everything around you, including money.

Feelings of Lack & Worthlessness

Feelings of lack and worthlessness can come up and intensify. Once those feelings are heightened, it produces the vibration of lack and worthlessness, thus changing the energy of money or anything else into that of lack and worthlessness.

How Money Is Drawn To You

Money is drawn to you from the feelings of love, gratitude, trust, pleasure, and confidence. Without it, money is not attracted to you.

Toxic Hate and Anger

It's normal to feel anger and hate at first; however, when you hang onto it, you are lowering your vibration in a way that repels money and opportunities from you even though you were the one who was hurt.

“How foolish for us to punish ourselves in the present moment because someone hurt us in the past” Lois L. Hay

How You Can Heal

Here some steps you can do right away to heal yourself and your financial flow.

1. Forgive EVERYTHING and ANYTHING!

One of the most challenging things about healing is the willingness to forgive. You may feel that if you forgive, then you are making it ok for the person to get away with hurting you without punishment. The reality is the only one you are really hurting is yourself.

Here is an affirmation I love from Lois Hay: "I forgive you for not being the way I want you to be. I forgive you, and I set you free." This affirmation is going to set you free when you say it over and over again every time you think of the person or persons that did you wrong.

Also, every day, you need to forgive EVERYTHING and ANYTHING you're angry, or frustrated with including things!

Why?

Because it’s like someone who was exposed to toxic substances so now their immune system is compromised. You have compromised your vibrational energy with toxic emotions for so long, that you are extra sensitive to any little addition added to it. Even if you get frustrated that a bird pooped on your windshield!

2. Embrace The Popcorn Effect

You are going to have emotions when you are hurt, even if it was years ago, so yes, the popcorn effect is going to happen. The truth is, nothing can be healed or cleared unless we know it's there, so this is when the popcorn effect can work for you. Every time you feel the popcorn effect happening, ask yourself, “what am I feeling right now?” Let the feelings come up and imagine it being surrounded by love and releasing through your chest area.

3. Stop Re-telling Your Victim Story

When you consistently repeat your story in a way that labels you as a helpless victim, then you will create the energy that draws that to you. Practice a more empowering way to share your story, such as, "yes, it hurt what my ex did and whatever issues he has that caused him to do that, it's his own journey. I have mine now, and I'm healing every day!"

4. Regain Trust

It's common to lose trust in the person who betrayed you, but you can also lose faith in yourself, love, other people, and even money. How is money going to be attracted to you if you don't have trust? Say to yourself a few times a day, "I trust myself, I trust money, I trust love, I trust life!" Bring up positive, excited emotions while saying this to give these affirmations it’s power to work.

5. Use Vibrational Boosters

Because trauma can lower your vibration, it's essential to pick a few things to do every day to boost your vibration, such as…

• Dancing

• Hugging Animals

• Listening to frequency music such as Solfeggio music

• Watching funny cartoons

• Laughing with friends

• Hot bubble bath

6. Make a list of anything that usually makes you feel good and pick a few you can do every day, or Google suggestions on raising your vibration.

Unfortunately, many people don’t understand/believe the real trauma that betrayal, and heartbreak can cause, but it’s real and from my experience and the numerous comments I got on Facebook, it can have a drastic effect on your money flow too. Move forward now, raise your vibration, and know that your experience didn’t happen to you, it happened for you!