A GUIDE TO RECEIVING PLEASURE BEYOND THE BEDROOM

Women’s nature is soft and sensual. Sensations are either the path to pleasure or pain, with an occasional unfortunate detour of numbness. When we want to embody a raw, sexy version of ourselves to enhance sexual pleasure, our bodies need to feel safe. Cultivating safety in arousal and letting it build while a woman relaxes into the tension is the secret formula for an orgasm. A fun style of training the nervous system to melt to touch rather than contract inwards is to immerse yourself in a sensation, meaning touch or taste or smell, and find the pockets of pleasure in it.

In the shower under running water, close your eyes and tune into the water making contact with your skin. Exhale and notice: can you sense a light anticipation on your skin before the water hits it? Dry off using a towel, with extra care and attention use the towel to draw over the natural curves of your hips, calves, ankles, feet. Wrap your foot in the towel and squeeze for extra grounding. Continue over your body as you contour your figure through the towel. Take a moment to notice the air on your dry skin. Add some fresh sheets to your bed or remove them from the dryer and snuggle in.
How does your naked body feel in bed under the sheets? Tug the linen over your body slowly for the fabric to caress you or tighten it around your upper thighs, your belly, under your breasts for self-restraint play. Which sensation gave you the most pleasure? Journal on it or mentally take note. These are all hints to your erotic composition.
Take yourself out to a gorgeous meal. You decide if it is home cooked or a delicious healthy restaurant. If cooking, notice the texture of the ingredients in your hands, the aromas of the ingredients, spices, and alluring scent as the food cooks. If eating out, notice the food presentation when it arrives. Inhale the scents and see the bright colors of the vegetables. When it comes to the eating part for either choice, go slow!
Bring a piece of food to your lips and feel its texture rubbing against your bottom lip, pull the food back and revel in the heightened tingles on your lips. Continue with a deep exhale once the food reaches your tongue and roll it around in your mouth. Take a sip of your beverage, what is the temperature like? Bring awareness of the feeling of liquid in your mouth versus solid food. Sensually eat your way through the meal. Before getting up when you are done, take three deep breaths and self-reflect, how did that meal compare to others? Are your cheeks flushed? Are you feeling a little aroused?
Create sensual artwork! The more hands-on the better. Grab a set of oil pastels, finger paint, clay, paper mache. Dare yourself to get naked for no reason other than to be comfortable in your skin and explore the medium on a canvas. Feel the paint as you dip a finger in and make contact with the texture of the canvas. Use your fingers to blend the colors of oil pastels or paint. Set the mood with lighting preference- Bright daylight? Moody low light? Twilight? Play some tunes, perhaps Solfeggio frequencies to enter a higher state of trance.
Different uses of pressure will reap different sensations and effects on the body. Bring your attention to the pressure that feels best for your fingertips and hands. Is it the methodical smooth gliding with paint or over clay? Pushing a fingerprint into the canvas or a thumb into the clay? Notice. Breathe in and on your exhale, move your fingers to compare sensations. Once you feel done, gaze at your artwork with soft eyes, half open. Focus your thoughts on the process of creation versus critique of the end product. How was it? Did it feel like making love to yourself or with the Cosmos? Take another deep breath and wash your experience off.

Explore these various ways of connecting to the body and teaching her how to be relaxed during play, which leads to deeper fulfilling orgasms. Taking the awareness of arousal beyond the bedroom helps us become more familiar with ourselves and removes the distraction of performance, chatter brain, expectations.

When we slow down and recognize which way of doing things brings us ultimate pleasure, we can easily transfer that knowledge to intimacy with ourselves and partner. There is excitement and certainty simply because the discovery of turn on is made in a safe environment. Therefore, the body is accepting of that stimulation in a more vulnerable state, such as during the act of intimacy. You will melt into the touch, scent, or texture as it becomes safe for you.