Article by Camille Ditele
Photo Credit: Hailley Howard
Featuring: Siobhan Barrett
Magazine: Issue #39
Deception and lies are the worst, and when you catch your husband in an affair, the shock can be devastating. Infidelity is the cause of millions of divorces.
But, what these numbers don’t reveal is what a betrayed wife can do to get past the trauma and rebuild her life. Here are some tips you can use to move past your husbands affair right after the “D – Day”.
Take time off
Going away for a while helps you gain clarity, so take a few days off from work, and if possible go away for a weekend.
Surround yourself with people who love you
Ask for help and support from your parents, friends, and even your siblings. Don’t be afraid of what anyone might think; this situation is not you fault.
Learn to say “no”
You are under extreme stress; think of the rest of your life, your childrens. Prioritize your responsibilities so that you can put some of them on the back burner.
Put yourself first
Save as much as money as you can, so that you can use this account if your marriage heals or not.
Get counseling for yourself
See your own counselor in regards to your problem first. You can also visit an online support for the help that you need.
Go get tested for STDs and HIV
As scary as it seems, your health is something that is simply too important to hide from.
Deciding to stay or go
You are not to blame for your husband’s decision to cheat. On the other hand, you must also take responsibility for your decisions
If you choose to rebuild the relationship between you and your husband, here are some things that you must do.
Beware of the “Honeymoon Stage”
At first, a sort of euphoria comes on, but it is a simple false security because the roller coaster ride often comes next. Eventually this concept can help you, but as time goes on it will depend on your husband.
Know the places your husband goes
Always make sure that you have an extra phone call or the key to his office. If he really wants to fix your marriage then he will not mind.
If you choose to let go of your marriage, you should prepare for some things that will happen.
Don’t look at your husband leaving as your life ending
It can be a beginning for you. You can do things that you never could, and a new, more confident and peaceful version of you will emerge.
It’s hard but stop yourself from wondering if he will come home
Focus on yourself (and your kids). Additionally, do things that you like to do. Just do it as long as you feel good and if you have kids, make special time to be with them.
Using these simple tips offer you gems on trying to build a new life, as you learn to be happy. Learn to create your Newly Single Dream Life and connect with Camille at camille@dailycourage.info
