CREATING BOUNDARIES AS SELF CARE
Article by Sarah McGovern
Creating Boundaries as Self Care
Self Care is a phrase we hear a lot these days, what is it to us and what does it really mean? Self care can come in so many different forms; the most valuable form is one that isn’t always talked about in this context : personal boundaries.
There is a great shift occurring now in our society and world that has also shifted us personally.
If we want it to, choose to, we can use it as an important time to reassess ourselves. This is in what we value, represent, what we have to let go of to change in ourselves. It’s a time to face our shadows and set our boundaries in order to protect, nurture and grow into our best, highest versions of ourselves, this is the place we need to start at now. This is self care.
The gift of this time is the opportunity to look at the self and it’s reflection, as everything and everyone around us is our mirror. This is a time to come home to ourselves, our feelings and needs first. We can’t release old feelings, fears and patterns unless we face them and take away their power. Creating new healthy boundaries with yourself and others is, to me the foundation of self care from which everything else can grow.
I can’t personally remember a time, where I’ve felt this tested and I feel we are all collectively in this space, one way or another. This is a time of tests, not just for the world, but for each of us personally as individuals. It really feels like we are at a crossroads collectively and personally.
We can choose to move forward or choose to stay in old limiting beliefs, attitudes and patterns that no longer serve us. I remember my younger self having a sense of this.. that if I didn’t take care of myself and my basic needs, that I would have nothing positive to offer and share with others. The more we practice self care and create boundaries around what is unhealthy for us and what we don’t need in our lives, the more we value and love ourselves and the more we value and love others.
I have an early memory of understanding that taking care of myself first was ok. Doing things that I loved, avoiding people or situations that felt bad (toxic) and not listening to negative self talk was integral to me operating as the most loving, giving and authentic version of myself. Just like many of us, I had a toxic family background and struggled to maintain difficult and unhealthy relationships that didn’t allow me to have any boundaries and where I could never come first.
I realize now how our personal boundaries can really take a hit when we grow up with people who don’t know any themselves or teach us them. It’s a circle that follows us into our relationship with ourselves and all our other relationships. Making personal boundaries for yourself is self care at it’s foundation, this has been one of my greatest realizations during this time.
When you create these for yourself, you no longer settle for the lesser version of yourself, you don’t accept things that make you feel bad and you know what people or situations to avoid because they don’t feel positive for you. When we have strong lines around ourselves and what we let into our lives, we realize that it is one of the best ways to create protection and preservation of our true selves.
Healthy boundaries give you the space and chance to maintain and strengthen your core self. If we treat ourselves with this respect, understanding and love on a deep level we also treat others in the same way. When we raise up our vibrations by loving and caring for ourselves, we raise up others and it radiates out into our communities and our world.
This is the goal we need to have moving forward. To take better care of ourselves, our communities, and our environment. We can’t accept the old shitty patterns, hierarchies, self hatred, outdated opinions and ways of operating. We have to show up and stand up for us personally and for all of us. We have to start with self care and self love, which gives us the strength and clarity to love others. We have to show up as our authentic selves and have the boundaries that will guide us in dealing with and living from our core beliefs which will lead us to act and create the selves, lives and world we desire and deserve to have.
