CONFIDENCE VS ARROGANCE: IS THERE A DIFFERENCE?

I believe there is, and once you become aware of the difference, I think you will too.

We often fear feeling too confident in ourselves in case we come across as being arrogant to others.

But, can you remember when you were a little girl, right back to the times where you weren’t afraid to be who you are, to let your light shine bright and to draw attention to yourself? The times where you would say “look at me! Look what I can do!”. That was a time where you had unwavering trust in yourself and confidence beyond your wildest dreams that you didn’t even know you had; it was just a natural part of you.

Unshakable self-trust is where I believe confidence comes from. The kind of self-trust that we’re born into this world with but as we grow and face fear, shame and rejection, we start to lose sight of that self-trust, we begin to abandon who we truly are as it doesn’t feel safe anymore to act on the things we want to act on, to say the things we want to say or to be who we really are.

We stop trusting ourselves and we stop listening to our intuition.

And it’s from this place that we begin to dim our light and diminish ourselves because we fear that if we are to shine too brightly or allow our real selves to be seen, we might come across as arrogant.

Arrogance = Bad… and we don’t want to be viewed that way.

But what I’ve come to realise is that arrogance feels different in your body. Arrogance is coming from your ego and therefore a state of scarcity and fear.

Arrogance is a result of your ego having power over you and comes from a place of “I am better and more superior than you.” It says “I need to keep you down here, so that I can feel up here” and can be triggered when we feel envious or jealous of someone for perhaps having what we want or for living out our potential and so to make ourselves feel better again, we find a way to put them beneath us.

And I’m not trying to shame anyone for doing this, it’s a natural defence mechanism… we all do it.

But, here’s the big difference; true confidence comes from an abundance state.

True confidence says “I am so amazing, and so are you… there is room for all of us here”.

Can you feel the difference?

True confidence requires you to return to intense self-trust; trust in what you’re doing and who you are. It requires you to feel whole and not be constantly looking for something external to complete you.

True confidence happens in the absence of shame, guilt and powerlessness. It requires you to let go of the conditions that you have placed on yourself over the years that says you must become a diluted version of yourself in order to be accepted and fit in.

When you have true confidence, you are in a state of abundance. Seeing another get what you want or reach the level you’re striving to reach only shows you what’s also possible for you instead of taking that opportunity from you. It doesn’t require you to make them ‘less than’ you, or for you to feel ‘less than’ them.

So, what I want to know now is, where in your life have you been giving your power away to your ego and allowing yourself to slip into a scarcity state? A state where you have been putting others down in order for you to feel better about yourself and more worthy?

How can you instead remember the times where you have experienced intense self-trust and how can you course correct to bring yourself into a state of true wholehearted confidence?

Remember; Arrogance = Scarcity, Confidence = Abundance and you get to choose which state you want to live in.