The Truth About People Who Piss Us Off

THE TRUTH ABOUT PEOPLE WHO PISS US OFF
{...and why we need them!}

Article by Jentana Lee Dabbs
Photo Credit: Nancy Schoenmakers
Magazine: Issue #27

Bless the people who piss us off in our lives, you know those people, we all have them around us, our close friend, sibling, parent, love relationship, the person who you may have just recently blocked on Facebook.

Most of the time (not all the time) those people are in our lives to help us become aware of something deep inside that we may either not be aware of or we are in just plain denial about.

What do I mean?  
The other day, I was speaking to a friend of mine (I’ll call her Anna) and she expressed to me that she had been upset all week at her father, therefore she was doing all she could to stay away from home as much as possible and avoid speaking to him since she lived with her parents. She opened up to me about how much he had hurt her because he was criticizing her and he told her that she was greedy. Anna said that being called “greedy” hit her the hardest, because she had been so careful with money.   Anna couldn’t even be around her father after that and she was so angry with him. I did a little probing and I asked if there was some fear deep inside her of being greedy? At first she was in denial, then I probed a little deeper and sure enough, she did have some deep fear of being greedy and she had extreme guilt around money, which reflected in her business and her life to the point where after 5 years of being a coach, she was still giving away her service for free and living at home.

The invisible signals we send
Many of us are unaware that we either send or receive unconscious signals that those close to us will pick up or we will pick up from them. The closer we are to a person and the longer we have been around them, the more they will pick up our unconscious signals and most likely throw those signals back at us in some way. In addition, we will attract whatever unconscious signal we are sending out. For example if a woman is constantly attracting relationships that are abusive in some way, then chances are high that she has been beating herself up inside for many years and the only way to stop this cycle is through self love and becoming continuously conscious of when she beats herself up inside until the point that she has full control over her own self abuse and stops it.

How it works
Lets say you write a book and your hubby says to you “your book will never sell” or you get involved in a relationship with a man and he begins to call you “superficial” or “self-centered” anytime you express a desire to go out more. Rather than getting upset at the person for being unsupportive or an absolute jerk, really get honest with yourself, I mean DEEPLY honest with yourself and ask yourself these questions:

•    Is this this how I really feel inside?
•    Is this a deep fear I haven’t been willing to face?
•    Is this an unconscious belief that has been blocking me and is now being revealed to me?
•    What am I going to do to change this belief, starting now?

Once you’re clear and conscious on what is really going on deep inside, then silently give gratitude to the person who pissed you off and then get to work on fixing this personal issue you have because once you do that you will notice a few miraculous things happen:

•    The person close to you who normally criticizes you, will either leave your life or become more loving and supportive
•    The blocks that you had towards some of your goals will begin to lessen and vanish
•    You will have an increased awareness in yourself and the world around you
•    You will become a more confident and happier person, because you are consciously aware of your own crap and you quickly do something about it!

Be aware that, there are true jerks out there who just get pure joy by bullying others and the great thing is that you will become so aware and strong in your personal truth about yourself, that not only will they not affect you, but you’ll be able to just smile and gently release those people from you life, while continually be able to recognize and be grateful to ones that are there to piss us off for our highest good!

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Mompreneurs! 7 Business Building Skills You MUST Teach Your Kids

MOMPRENEURS!
7 BUSINESS BUILDING SKILLS YOU MUST TEACH YOUR KIDS
{So They Can Be Self-sufficient for Life}

Article by Heather Jadus
Photo Credit: Dasha & Mari
Magazine: Issue #26

Business Building Skills You MUST Teach Your Kids

I have always been an entrepreneur at heart.

When I was 15 I bought a car even though I couldn't drive one yet. I wasn't going to make payments on something I couldn't use so I leased the car to my brother because his car was on the fritz. Brilliant, right? Ha!

I've always had money; sometimes more than others but always had it and never had to rely on anyone. This is a skill I plan on handing down to my kids so that they too will be self-sufficient when they grow. Teaching your kids entrepreneurial skills at a young age will set them up for success and build their confidence throughout their entire life. Think about it, who as a kid or an adult couldn't use the following skills:

1. Goal Setting: Every entrepreneur knows that you must set high yet achievable goals in order to be successful. Reiterating this to your kids will get them to focus on what their expectations of themselves are. Have them set a few goals over a certain period of time and also help them with some action steps and a clear plan of how to reach those goals.

2. Opportunity Recognition: Teach your kids to see how they can help someone solve a problem. My example above of leasing my car to my brother because I couldn't drive it was entirely my idea. I don't think I was taught that but I'm sure that you could open your child's eyes by getting them to think about how to provide people with solutions and perhaps even monetize it eventually.

3. Creativity: Letting your kids be creative and come up with ideas that are "outside the box" is a great way to broaden their marketing perspective. Don't shut down any ideas they have.  Let them play it through and see how it goes. Better to make mistakes and learn from them now rather than later in life.

4. Sales: Selling is an important skill that can be invaluable in life. Selling products, services or even yourself as a person is required for everyone at some time. I am big into consignment sales so my 4.5 year old daughter already knows that if she gives some of her toys to sell at the sale that she can take some of that money to buy something "new to her" from the sale. She finds it fun. She also knows that the toys that don't sell get donated to a child who might not have the money to purchase toys. Lots of learning going on there.

5. Communication: Communication is the key to relationship building and we all know how important that is to growing a business. Teach your kids how to say what they mean and ask for what they want. Also teach them that being kind to everyone is important but not letting people treat you poorly is just as important. If someone hurts them, they should be able to speak up.

6. Money Knowledge: Teaching your kids how to make money, what money can buy, how to save for things and the basic economics of how money works is key. I honestly cannot believe that they don't teach this stuff in a high school course. Things like balancing your checking account, opening a savings account and how saving now for retirement can look like in 50 years. Invaluable and powerful information to ingrain into kids brains at a young age.

7. Dealing with Failure: No business growth happens without some failures involved. Teaching your kids to try and try again to get to the goals they wish to reach is the only way to get there. Never give up. It's just not an option. EVER!

These skills can will help your kids no matter what age they are now and throughout their whole life.

What do you think? Is entrepreneurship a born with trait or a trained trait or both?  

Be Informed. Be Safe. Be Healthy.

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5 Success Strategies for Better Business Relationships

5 SUCCESS STRATEGIES FOR BETTER BUSINESS RELATIONSHIPS
{in the 21st Century Global Marketplace}

Better Business Relationships

Article by Heather Rebecca Wilson
Photo Credit: Dasha & Mari
Magazine: Issue #26

While everyone has been obsessing over knowing their ideal client inside and out, I’ve noticed that in a great deal of my interactions with other “global" entrepreneurs, many of us don’t know ourselves inside and out. When we can’t see ourselves clearly, or have a 360 degree view of our identity, this often leads to cringe-worthy moments when a well-intended comment actually has a negative impact on someone and can unnecessarily put the brakes on an exciting business deal or relationship.

“Cultural Competence” is the ability to work effectively across differences with curiosity, humility, respect, empathy, and without judgment. Unless you’re planning to only work with people who are exactly like you, whether it's joint venture partners, team members, or even clients, without this 360 degree view of your identity, your ability as an entrepreneur to lead others and transform the world with your unique message is on shaky ground at best.

"Cultural Humility" is an orientation that first and foremost, recognizes the inherent power balances that exist in our everyday lives and requires a commitment to ongoing self-reflection in order understand the experience of others. Your ability to navigate an increasingly uncertain, complex, and yet collaborative world is key to your success or failure in the global marketplace of the 21st century. Your ideal client might be just like you, or so you may think! Some dimensions of identity are invisible. So, how does one become culturally competent or humble? And what is identity exactly?

Identity is how you see yourself, how others see you (in the world of social psychology this is referred to as your “social identity), and your reaction to that outside perception. We are all born innocent. Identities develop over a lifetime. Additionally, they can be extremely complex and fluid. So, identity is the dynamic relationship between these elements and can be pretty darn complicated.

Your “social identity” refers to your membership in certain social groups and the implications of belonging to these groups. Social groups are defined by gender, age, ethnicity, race, religion, nationality, sexual orientation, and socioeconomic status. Examples of this might be your place of work, a religious or spiritual community you are a part of, or a private club that you or your family belongs to.

Here’s the kicker: our self-identification with a particular social group may have no influence on how we are categorized by others. We are constantly evaluated by others in ways that make sense to them, not necessarily to us. This is a bitter pill to swallow for most everyone, but it is a reality that one must acknowledge to have an honest conversation about the role of identity in our global community.

Take some time to reflect on the following and make a new plan to up your game in this area:

Success Strategy #1: Know how you self-identify among the different dimensions of identity and how this affects the person you are today. These dimensions include but are not limited to: age, body size/shape, sexual orientation/questioning, family structure, socioeconomic status, language of origin, ability, sex, religion, race, and ethnicity (connected to race, but different; involves cultures, traditions, and geographical location). How have your identity related experiences colored the way you see the world? What are your core values? In what areas are you in the minority? In what areas have you benefited from majority privilege? Where might you have some blind spots? 

Success Strategy #2: Effective leaders understand that success is built on relationships. Make a concerted effort to educate yourself about how others who identify differently than you may perceive you and why that is. There are many resources available, especially on the internet. Educating yourself about the experiences and perspectives of others is YOUR responsibility. Lack of knowledge or awareness of the experiences of those who are not like you can often be misinterpreted as a lack of caring or worse, prejudice.

Success Strategy #3: Never assume. There is a time for asking questions and a time for just listening. Be discerning. Be present. Be patient. 

Success Strategy #4: Have a growth mindset as you embark on the cultural competence and humility journey. Know that you will make mistakes on a regular basis and be OK with that. If you do offend someone, hear them out when he or she wants to talk about it, make a heartfelt apology, and a genuine effort to do better in the future.

Success Strategy #5: Be open and honest about this new endeavor you are undertaking to become more culturally competent and humble. Let others know that this is important to you and that you’re interested in connecting with likeminded people for inspiration, support, and accountability. Start conversations. Be visible. Be vulnerable. 

Cultural competence and humility will help you navigate and stay relevant in this new world where consumers and potential creative partners are increasingly diverse, savvy, and in search of authentic connections with other people who “get it” and “get them”. 

Hey Rubbernecker! 4 Ways to Mind Your Own Business

HEY RUBBERNECKER!
4 WAYS TO MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS

Article by Denita Austin
Photo Credit: Dasha & Mari
Magazine: Issue #26

4 Ways to Mind Your Own Business

Mindfulness implies that you are aware of yourself. Now of course no one is perfect and this is an area that we all can improve on but it’s super important that we pay close attention to what we are doing in the moment.  What we do and say effects everyone around us. Our decisions, emotions, reactions and so forth. 

Have you ever spoken to someone that was able to tell you everything about someone else but couldn’t tell you anything about themselves?  I know you know at least one person who is obsessed with the way people think and do things. The first thing that comes to mind for me is MIND YOUR BUSINESS! What advice would you give this person to help them focus on their actions and their thoughts? The next time that you experience this with a friend or associate, share this advice with them. Lets’ say the person name is Linda. I would say Linda, instead of focusing on that person and what they are doing, think of it this way. You should observe yourself as though you are watching a movie to learn more about your extraordinary traits and attributes. This is a different perspective that you don’t typically do in your daily life however I recommend trying it. As you go on to explain to her gently, when you are mindful of yourself, you begin to see what you are creating. Our thoughts are so powerful that we tend to forget what we can manifest into existence. 

Now by this time, I’m sure Linda is looking up at the sky with her eyes rolled in the back of her head in disgust. She is not interested in anything that you have to say. I encourage you to go on with the conversation. Linda, observe yourself and how you interact with others.  Ask yourself these questions. Was I mindful when I brushed my teeth this morning?  Was I mindful of how I spoke to someone over the phone today? Was I mindful when I looked at myself in the mirror? Was I mindful driving in traffic? Was I mindful when I decided to judge someone I barely knew? If not, are you really living?  Or are you just alive?  

We are so use to our routines that we are not aware of our surroundings or interactions. Usually we see the same thing every day because we simply think, feel and do the same thing. When we are mindful, we will see differently because we are awake and actually living. You will see life in a completely differently light. By feeling and being aware of every moment will spark creativity and will create a mental space that is stress free.

Since I am such a huge fan of building relationships and connections with others, I’ve noticed over time that as we immerse ourselves into the moment, others notice. As we becoming present through mindfulness, we see others inviting us into interaction because people want to be around others who are willing to invest time. I’ve also noticed that the more aware we are of the greatness of others, the more likely we will receive the positive energy in return. This encourages others to strive through the very initiative we nurtured through our presence of mind body and spirit. 

Here are a few healthy suggestions to become more mindful or should I say to Mind Your Business 

1 :: Take a morning or evening walk without a destination. Let go of all thoughts of a schedule or agenda and simply allow yourself to go wherever your mood takes you. Surrender to the flow of life. This will also be your moment of self-love and empowerment.

2 :: Do one thing at a time. I understand the importance of multitasking but I recommend Single-task. It will help you in the long run. When you're pouring water, just pour water. When you're eating, just eat. Take your time with each task. When you are speaking to someone, give them your undivided attention. This is a great technique for reducing stress. 

3 :: Next time your phone rings, resist to the urge to answer. Let it ring a couple of times as you collect your thoughts and prepare to answer. You should also consider turning the phone off during certain periods of the day. We all need to tap into this area of self-improvement and discipline. 

4 :: Before Bed, sit in silence. Breathe slowly and deeply, allowing yourself to let go and simply be. This simply means turning the TV off and not using it as company until you fall asleep. This is where the crazy dreams appear in your head. This is the key ingredient for holistic living one step at a time.

Add these healthy suggestions into the daily routine and I assure you that you will see the difference within yourself. As things happen and as we maintain presence infused with stillness, we are more likely to accept them without judgment of ourselves or others. 

Is Networking Bad for Business?

IS NETWORKING BAD FOR BUSINESS?

Article by John Scardina
Photo Credit: Dasha & Mari
Magazine: Issue #26

Is Networking Bad for Business?

For years I have been a fan of networking, I like to think I have a rather large network of professionals in many different aspects of business and knowledge that I can converse with to acquire answers, opinions, ideas and clients. Networking is the human mind and body in marketing mode, always changing, adapting and growing with each new contact. The amazing part of networking is that you never know who you will meet and what or who they know. In business we all solve a problem that someone has and many of many of us solve very unique or niche problems for clients. This is what makes us so adaptable to “Networking with the enemy”.

As a practitioner I network with other practitioners in and out of the same field I practice. This is where I hear from others, stating “you should never network or share business info with someone that practices in your same field”, especially in the same geographical area that you practice. That’s like “networking with the enemy”. “You are losing business by doing this”. I personally do not believe in these fears or statements. The problems that you solve for clients go much deeper than a cookie cutter practice and knowledge gained from likeminded people is so very valuable. They understand your business, they have made the same mistakes, overcome the same obstacles and have a world of info to share that is a benefit to your business. The greatest importance of this is, knowledge and client acquisition. So many practitioners offer so many types of services and there are also many services that they do not. The big picture here is to network with everyone you can and feel comfortable with them completely. This is how we learn and grow within our business.

In my history I have only lost one client to another practitioner since 2009 with networking in this manner. This client admittedly was not a great fit for my services and I was happy to have introduced them to another practitioner. The end result was I avoided conflict with a client and still helped the client overall. I have gained so many more clients in return by this very same method of networking. With consistent sharing and networking with like practitioners we all improve the world as a whole and almost always have an answer to a business problem. The plain and simple fact is, if I cannot service a client fully I will pass this client along to someone I know and trust and the same works in reverse. The more you network with the so named “enemy”, the more knowledgeable and powerful you become as a resource to your clients.

There is no such thing as “networking with the enemy”!

1| Network with all types of people, even those who provide the same services.
2| Know these people well and build a trust.
3| Share knowledge and experience
4| Be confident in the knowledge and service that you provide.

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4 Success Strategies to Elevate Your Brand

Elevate Your Brand

4 SUCCESS STRATEGIES TO ELEVATE YOUR BRAND

Article by Keisha Shields
Photo Credit: Mariana Garcia
Magazine: Issue #25

It’s a funny thing really. To be a smart, gifted, brilliant woman. One who is amazing in her own right. Maybe it was being top of the graduating class, or maybe it was moving up the ladder pretty quickly. Being the envy of so many who look up to you as a mentor. Yet, feeling so far away from where you know you should be at this stage. 

The problem. You’re excellent at what you do, but you feel like an internal disconnect has happened somewhere along the way. You wanted to take what you do and elevate it so that you can be handsomely paid for it by amazing people who adore how you improve their lives (and not continue working for those who undervalue or under-appreciate your tireless efforts). What happened instead, though, is that you realized that this meant that you needed to show up in a bigger way. To possibly expose that vulnerable side of you that feels embarrassed or ashamed because you went from being the best of the best (and knowing it) to feeling stalled and out of alignment because somewhere along the way you settled big time for less than what you know you deserve. You’ve used this cocoon-like state to protect you for far too long. It’s time to bring your gifts back to the surface.

Creating the luxury brand or the luxurious, beautiful life that you want first starts within the mind. Sometimes you truly just have to hit the reset button. Here are 4 success strategies for smart girls and high-level women entrepreneurs who are ready to reclaim their thrones and get back on top!

Smart Girls’ Success Strategy #1: Stop Doubting Your Capabilities
The time, money, and energy that you have invested into your education, your career, your business, your brand, your love life, and your friendships has not been in vain. You are fully capable of becoming who you know you are meant to be.  Stop doubting yourself. Confidence is super sexy. As Suze Orman often states “Power attracts; Powerlessness repels.” Tap into your power source, because as women entrepreneurs and women CEO’s doubting yourself is limiting your cash flow more than you may even know.

Smart Girls’ Success Strategy #2: Reconnect with Your Vision
This is my absolute favorite part of helping smart girls with their luxury brands and luxury lives, because I get to help women like you to re-connect deeply and intimately with that vision that you’ve always had for how you envisioned your life. To help you reconnect and remember the possibilities all while being reminded that it’s still very much possible to make that vision happen right here right now. Take note of the ‘action source’ of the vision.  For example, does your vision involve you having a luxury brand? Is it more about you having the freedom to travel to luxurious destinations or become a well-known philanthropist? Did the priority for you come in the form of needing more socialite time in your life? 

Smart Girls’ Success Strategy #3: Get Life Support
A critical component to reclaiming your throne is having the space to process and support what is happening emotionally in your life, in your career, and in your business. 

Once you know the action source, getting support is very important. At this stage, nonjudgmental support will help keep you from self-sabotage or being derailed trying to go it alone.  Women's empowerment is so important to the future of luxury business, so get high-level support or none at all. Smart girls require a different type of mentoring and instruction than your average jane. When reclaiming your throne™, you need a trusted team of people who can support YOU (the smart girl), and not just your business.  If you know that your issue is that living in your head causes interference to your emotional intelligence, then find a mentor that you connect with that does both (supports you and consults your luxury ventures).

Smart Girls’ Success Strategy #4:  Set your Goals for Accelerated Success 
70 days or bust! Ok, so not exactly. What you need to know is that once you have teamed up with a mentor, a coach, a strategist, or other expert, you need to create a deadline-driven strategic plan that allows you to know what you need to be doing and when so that you can accelerate your success. Take the guess work out of the day-to-day decisions (this is where you can get into trouble because your emotions and deep-thinking ways can stall you) and you will be well on your way to reclaiming your throne, making way more money with more ease, and getting back on top! 

Is Outsourcing the Best Option for Your Company?

IS OUTSOURCING THE BEST OPTION FOR YOUR COMPANY? 

Article by Marlo Wright
Photo Credit: Mariana Garcia
Magazine: Issue #25

Outsourcing for Your Company

With so many available outsourcing options for the busy entrepreneur at so many different price levels, the challenge is finding the right person for your team. 

An outsourced member of your team, is still a team member. It is YOUR responsibility to check behind, followup with and stay in constant contact with the team member, even if overseas. Just as any other employee in your office, people unfortunately have the tendency to skate around the corners and not do things quite exactly as you would. This is the challenging part. Too many cut corners can equal low quality in your produced outcome. This could mean bad business and your customers level of expectations are not being met. 

The saying is, trust, but verify. Trust what employees tell you they’re doing— Verify every step of the way. In the early stages, especially, this is critical to your public image and company foundation. Misleading, poor quality, or deficient customer service can hurt your business before it takes off, and damages could potentially be irreversible. 

There are several outsourcing sites/companies from music, to commercials, to personal assistants, varying in prices and features from which to choose. Remember, you get what you pay for, and though choosing the least expensive option seems to make sense as you count every penny, it may not yield the best return on your investment. Every dollar, even if it's five dollars is important and should be spent wisely! 

Do you need the help? Often times, we are told that we should get rid of the tasks that are “not worth your time”, but, if you’re having to redo those tasks, you've now wasted time, money and energy. Ultimately the frustration from the situation can spiral you into a negative space that in turn wastes more time. 

Patience. The right outsourcing opportunity will come at the right time. 

Here are 5 ways to make sure you’re making the best outsourcing decisions for your emerging company:

1| Is it necessary? Doing what we have to do vs what we want to do can impair our better judgement. As the owner of the company, it’s your job to know a little about each position before delegating. Therefore, spend some time actually doing the assignment before giving it to someone else. That way, you’ll have a working knowledge of how it should work.

2| What are my sourcing options? Do the research. Ask for referrals. Check references. 

3| How much help can I afford? Never give cart blanche assignments. Rather give in small hourly increments. Write it in your budget.

4| How long will I need help? Is this an unlimited time frame or a specific project you'll need help with?

5| What specific duties will they accomplish? Create a specific job description, though it can be tailored as your needs change. 

Ultimately outsourcing means your business is growing, or showing signs of growth. As stressful as it can be, you have to exercise patience and positive thinking to get you through. You won’t know it all, and you’ll learn a lot that will make your business grow all the more. 

Are you Dating, Loving or Just Flirting with Your Business?

ARE YOU DATING, LOVING OR JUST
FLIRTING WITH YOUR BUSINESS?

Are you Dating, Loving or Just Flirting with Your Business?

Article by Ellie Isacs
Photo Credit: Fabiola Zamora
Magazine: Issue #24

Damn right, you did it! You are officially self-employed, entrepreneur, your brand is top notch and you are diving into the marketing roaring ocean of possibilities. You are the next best thing……..stop, re-wind, are you actually successful, loving it and thriving? 

Starting and running a business is a journey of learning, growing and excelling. But have you stopped for a second to examine your relationship with your business? Is it fulfilling, easy and flowing? Or is it a struggle, a worry and most important becoming an avalanche of pain?

The way your business is treating you is the exact mirror image of how you are treating yourself. If you are living with low self-esteem, nagging negativity and flat out bashing yourself daily, then the chances are this is how you are treating your business and how it is treating you back.

Examine the relationship you have with your SELF. 

Define your terms – This might sound easy and no brainer but so many fail here. Learning and growing from your mentors is invaluable, but it gotta work for you. Define the terms– who are you hanging out with, are you pleasing people at all cost, are you spending time on yourself, are making your body, mind and spirit a priority? Define what is important to you and make sure you do it. Know yourself, dare yourself and love yourself……….rinse and repeat. Establishing daily practices of self-love and appreciation will allow you to define the terms on which you live life and do business

Decline their demands – Over-achieving can work for you, as long as it is not directed at pleasing others. Whoever they might be! Whenever you feel you are living someone else’s script, stop and rewrite it. You are worth the effort to decline outside demands, when they do not resonate with your true personality and soul. It is tough love but one needed for you to thrive. When you live in your truth, your business will reflect the respect, appreciation and care you grant to the most important person – you.

Design your life – After knowing your terms and excluding those who suck your energy dry, it’s time to design the pieces. Defining what you want is key, we are not taught to want in life, we are taught to give. Well now combine the two – give yourself what you want most! You will find the ways and means to achieve your success but you have to know how you want it to be. Find out how you envision each area and work on it. Your design is uniquely yours.

Love yourself and start creating a relationship your business filled with love, care, authenticity and spice. The results will follow.