OVERCOMING EGO: 3 STEPS FOR INNER HEALING

Have you ever felt like you were on the precipice of Up-leveling in your life, only to have a sudden back slide into old destructive patterns, or damaging coping mechanisms you thought you had moved past?

That is Ego. Even in the most miserable of circumstances we subconsciously feel safe with what we know. In misery, our Ego is comfortable because it is familiar. As we begin to heal and ascend closer to our True-selves, closer to our own light, our Ego panics.

Ego is fed by our woundings. When we start to break out of this arena of self-limiting beliefs or freeing ourselves from addictive/compulsive behaviors our Ego will pull out any stops to keep us caged and “safe”, like a salt circle in reverse. You can see this especially when you start doing the work to heal your trauma woundings, whether they happened in this lifetime or are generational woundings is inconsequential to Ego. It can present as anything from returning to toxic relationships, to self-medicating seemingly “out of nowhere”.

Have patience with yourself

There is no magic pill that will change your life overnight. True change comes from a desire to look deeply into all the woundings of your life and break from avoidance behaviors. The first step is doing deep self-inventories, and most importantly, having a strong desire to break your patterns and heal.

This is the truest and hardest step because only you can commit to your truth. Just as no one can tell you what you need to truly recover, your recovery is YOUR recovery, your battle with Ego hinges on your level of honesty with yourself, first and foremost.

Identifying the root of our emotions and triggers is what helps us identify them, allowing us to acknowledge, treat and heal them.

Identify your triggers

Identifying your triggers, or rather your Ego’s triggers, is paramount to your success in recovery. Ego is tricky, its triggers will manifest in ways that seem easily attributable to someone else, allowing us to dodge ownership. However, our triggers are our own responsibility to manage and navigate if we want to battle our Ego. Treat your interactions as a mirror. In situations where we feel wronged or bothered by another person’s behavior the true issue is something we see in ourselves that we do not like or accept. Ego will appear as judgement, too. Judgement comes naturally, and IS natural because we are not God, we are human, we err. What matters is what we allow ourselves to do with this Ego judgement. It matters in our physical bodies, our hearts and souls, and it matters in our recovery. When you feel judgement ask yourself: “Why?” Dive into that - journal, pray, meditate, ask your ancestors for guidance, and release it. It is not for us to judge.

After we become conscious of the thought before the behavior, we can then identify the actions and the trigger (or series of triggers) that led up to the feeling and impulse to numb. Then you create space to set your boundaries. Your boundaries will help prevent slipping into the pattern of behavior you are correcting.

Find support.

Connect with a person or persons you can reach out to, to help center you when you feel triggered to cope through destructive behaviors. Someone that can be an ear to listen and knows you enough to help you find your own discernment when you are struggling; it is also helpful if they can call you out when they see Ego driven behaviors.

Important note: First, ask them if they would be willing to be that person; if they have the space and willingness to support you. Talk about what you feel would be helpful. You must be open enough to explain your "Why" to them and share some of your struggles, so they know how to support you. This person(s) should never become another crutch whose existence is your only support. They are scaffolding to support you in this new transitional period. You should need them less, and not more, as you gain a greater foothold in your growth.

If you have no one you feel can support you in this way, or that you can be truly honest with seek one out. In "Anonymous" type meetings, you can simply raise your hand to ask for a phone numbers list of people willing to be supportive in your very first meeting. Or find a professional that has a schedule with the flexibility to support you through phone calls. A “professional” can be anyone from a psychiatrist to a shaman or medicine woman; let your soul guide you to what you need.

The epic Marianne Williamson poem Our Greatest Fear begins “It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us” and nothing could be truer. Our Ego is programed to keep us in a state that it feels is “safe” in order truly ascend we must first take on this battle earth side, with ourselves. You can do it.

Remember, healing is not a linear path, it’s circular. If you falter do not let it feed your Ego, get back up; the biggest determent to your recovery is the time you spend dwelling on the negative. We continue to confront our Ego in the same theme in different situations until we get a strong history of pivoting in a new way. If you fail one day, get up and try again; the only one keeping you stuck is you and of course your Ego.