3 Steps To Achieving Your Goals and Getting What You Want In Life!

Achieving Your Goals

Achieving Your Goals

3 STEPS TO ACHIEVING YOUR GOALS AND GETTING WHAT YOU WANT IN LIFE!

Article by Jentana Lee Dabbs
Photo Credit: Dasha & Mari
Magazine: Issue #29

Have you experienced being so motivated and confident about something such as a fitness or business goal and then a few days later, that motivation and desire has come and gone like a California rainstorm?

Perhaps, you’ve made every effort to set and follow through on your goals, absolutely swearing that this time you are going to stick with it and then “poof” your motivation is gone, then you make every excuse in the world as to why you can’t follow through on your goal, which at the time, that excuse, such as the fact that your cat needs to be fed, seems to make lots of sense. Perhaps you did stick it through as far as you could and you hit so many obstacles and storms that you gave up on yourself “again.” And now, this has become a repetitive cycle of madness and you’re wondering what is wrong with you? It seems easy for everyone else, why can’t it be easy for you?

Maybe you have some judgments about yourself such as:

•    I have ADD
•    I’m a loser
•    I’m lazy
•    It’s the way I was raised
•    I just can’t deal with it now
•    Let me look further into the reasons why I can’t do this (searching for proof that supports your follow through failures.)
•    I need to stop and take a look at myself/my issues still (using the personal development mask to make you look good to yourself and “what you think” to others why you stopped again on your goals.)
•    I don’t have enough time
•    It’s so and so’s fault
•    If I had more time, money, better looking etc. 
•    There’s too many obstacles getting in my way, so I’ll put this off till I have more clarity, things get better, I’m in a better place in my life…etc.

There will always be some excuse that will seem reasonable enough to cause you to give up on your goals, until 10 years later you look back and find that you are still on the same hamster wheel of repetitive patterns with little to no changes in your life except for your age, weather patterns and the hair on your head.

Why do we give up on ourselves?

We give up on ourselves, because change is incredibly hard. We are stuck in a cycle of habit and comfort. Believe it or not, as much as some of us would like to change our circumstances, after years of the same way of being, old habits start to become like an old familiar friend. That habit good or bad, is the only habit we have known for so many years, we know what to expect and how to handle it. In a dysfunctional kind of way, we feel some sort of comfort and control therefore, we are afraid to release what’s familiar and go into the unknown. Our natural, primal instinct for survival goes into fight and flight mode, freezing us in our tracks and causing us to turn around and go back into our comfort zone, the second we hit an obstacle or feeling of discomfort. Only when our pain becomes stronger than the pain of change is when we make more of an effort to ride out the pain of change and make a move. It’s like the story of an old dog sleeping on a nail, the friend says to the farmer, “your dog is sleeping on a nail, don’t you want to do something?” The farmer says, “no, he’ll move himself when he’s uncomfortable enough.”

Uncomfortable yet?  
Chances are if you are reading this, then you have reached a certain level of discomfort in your life to finally want to not only do what it takes to have a better life and reach your dreams, but stick to it this time!

Here are 3 steps to sticking with and achieving your goals:

• STOPPING JUDGING YOURSELF! This is THE MOST important step, rather than wondering why something doesn’t work for you, discover what makes you tick and find what works for YOU to follow through and stick things out.

• While you are drifting asleep at night, repeat to yourself over and over again your goal for the next day, such as waking up at 6am and being energized to workout. We are in a natural state of hypnosis when we are falling asleep.

• Listen to a guided meditation, visualization or hypnosis recording to overcome some of your limiting beliefs or blocks daily. Your subconscious mind can’t tell the difference between what’s real and what’s not, so with enough coaxing, your mind will begin to have full cooperation in helping you stick to your goals and get what you want in life!


It’s a Sign is a compilation of self-improvement articles written by entrepreneurs seeking to bring holistic solutions to everyday problems. Read more articles from this feature.


Jentana Lee Dabbs CHt. is a pattern interrupt expert and breakthrough strategist, who is committed to helping those truly determined to overcome their biggest challenges and bring their burning desires to realization when they’ve about fizzled out and call it quits.  She brings you one of the most powerful and hottest success igniting systems in the world today and literally trains your mind to not only take action and follow through on your goals but transforms you from self-doubt, fear and uncertainty into a high achieving power house, confidently owning who you are by being who you are. Download your FREE 4 part audio series Mastering The Art Of Persistence & Getting What You Want, When You Want To Give Up.

ABOUT ANGEL

Angel Quintana

Angel Quintana is the founder of Holistic Fashionista, an alchemical herbalist and mystery school teacher based in Saint Petersburg, Florida. She's incredibly passionate about the alchemical process known as The Great Work and helping others evolve "the archetypes" found in their inner world, so they can confidently answer the questions: WHO AM I and WHY AM I HERE. Learn more about Angel's work at www.theoccultchateau.com


DISCLAIMER

The information on this website is presented for educational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for the diagnosis, treatment, or advice of a qualified, licensed medical professional. The facts presented are offered as information only, not medical advice, and in no way should anyone infer that we are practicing medicine. Seek the advice of a medical professional for proper application of this material to any specific situation.

Top 5 MUST DO'S to Conquer Emotional Eating and Get On with Your Awesome Life!

TOP 5 MUST DO'S TO CONQUER EMOTIONAL EATING
AND GET ON WITH YOUR AWESOME LIFE!

Article by Emily Nelson
Photo Credit: Dasha & Mari
Magazine: Issue #29

Conquer Emotional Eating

Conquer Emotional Eating

Do you find yourself eating when you aren’t hungry? Have you ever had that moment when you realize that you are eating just because you’re bored, anxious, lonely, or depressed? Well if so, my friend… you are likely an emotional eater.

One of the reasons that I had a major weight gain (and loss) is that I am a die-hard emotional eater. I used food as a comfort for loneliness and depression, as well as to celebrate joy and happiness. The problem is that no matter what the reason, when you emotionally binge, you always feel like shit in the end, when reality settles in and the problems you are avoiding come back to haunt you.

The problem is that emotional hunger can’t be filled with food. Girl, your problems gonna be there no matter how much you try to eat them away! And the emotional roller coaster? Cruel – you binge eat and experience a brief release from stress… but then the high wears off. You physically feel like a pile of garbage because you just literally filled your body with a bunch of garbage. Your energy wanes and you become lethargic. You beat yourself up for messing up again and for not having simple willpower. You stop caring about health because you feel like it’s hopeless at this point. Controlling your weight is impossible and you feel completely powerless against food and your feelings… See how this escalates into something very dangerous?

I was on that roller coaster and it was not fun.

Here’s what I realized: I needed to deal with my shit. Plain and simple. My body reflected my emotional turmoil. I had created an entire different set of problems – physical health problems - by avoiding the emotional problems that I had. It seems simple to fix, but if you have ever been in that deep, dark place, then you can understand how difficult it is to finally be real with yourself. It hurts, it’s scary, and it’s extremely humbling.  

Here are the top five rules I lived by to lose that extra weight and finally DEAL with my shit!

1. Figure out your Why.

Why do you want to change? I know you want to lose weight and be healthier, but let’s get really specific. Go deep, and then go even deeper. It might get uncomfortable, and that’s ok. You may find that it becomes your most intense motivator. Stay true to your why and you can’t go wrong.

2. Identify Your Excuses.

It takes a lot of courage and determination to find the truths behind a behavior. You must be aware of your own shortcomings and also your strengths. Do yourself a favor and stop making excuses. You will find that you are a LOT stronger than you think you are!

3. Learn to how to just STOP.

You have to step back and think about what you are doing. You have to snap out of it. It is very difficult in the moment to be able to stop, but it is imperative to do so. Stay strong in this, and consistently follow through. You are creating new neurological pathways and “retraining” you brain every time you do this. It’s not easy! But stay strong. There may be moments of hardship, but you are getting stronger each time you change your habit. You can do it!

4. Utilize the power of your inner dialogue to empower you, not sabotage you.

The power of self-talk is immense. I used to treat myself terribly, and why? I felt like I didn’t deserve happiness because I was fat. That is complete BS!!! Of course I did – and of course everyone in my life wanted me to feel happy. The only person holding me back from that was…me. 

I would never in a million years tell someone else the things that I was saying to myself, so why was that ok? It’s not ok. Love yourself, accept where you are and go from there. Find a mantra or affirmation to bring your confidence up. You are here for a purpose, just by being born, so honor yourself and give yourself a break. Geez. You deserve better! 

5. Have a PLAN.

I have been completely blown away by how much impact a simple plan has on someone’s life. It is a magical feeling when you accomplish a personal goal – there’s nothing else like it!

There are many ways you can choose to take on the challenge of conquering emotional eating. Remember that the road is bumpy. There will be setbacks. There will be slip-ups. And that is ok! It’s life – how could this process be perfect? Take one day, and one emotion at a time. Deal with the stuff that comes up and just keep moving forward. You were not meant to live a life of monotony. You were meant for a life of happiness and joy. 

Don’t just live your life – ROCK your life!


It’s a Sign is a compilation of self-improvement articles written by entrepreneurs seeking to bring holistic solutions to everyday problems. Read more articles from this feature.


Emily Nelson is the founder and CEO of Rock Your Wellness. Her heart-fuelled mission is to inspire, motivate, and empower YOU to create the body of your dreams, and ultimately, to make the life that you envision for “someday” into the life you are living TODAY. 

Live the life you are meant to live by taking control of your health and wellness! For a limited time, Emily is offering this awesome 77-page cookbook filled with recipes curated from the best health coaches around for FREE! This normally sells for $47 but is available for a very limited time for FREE. Sign up here!

ABOUT ANGEL

Angel Quintana

Angel Quintana is the founder of Holistic Fashionista, an alchemical herbalist and mystery school teacher based in Saint Petersburg, Florida. She's incredibly passionate about the alchemical process known as The Great Work and helping others evolve "the archetypes" found in their inner world, so they can confidently answer the questions: WHO AM I and WHY AM I HERE. Learn more about Angel's work at www.theoccultchateau.com


DISCLAIMER

The information on this website is presented for educational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for the diagnosis, treatment, or advice of a qualified, licensed medical professional. The facts presented are offered as information only, not medical advice, and in no way should anyone infer that we are practicing medicine. Seek the advice of a medical professional for proper application of this material to any specific situation.

3 Pet Peeves About Advertising, That’ll Make Your Business Famous

3 PET PEEVES ABOUT ADVERTISING,
THAT'LL MAKE YOUR BUSINESS FAMOUS

Article by Sashka Hanna-Rappl
Photo Credit: Dasha & Mari
Magazine: Issue #29

pet-peeves-about-advertising

Ugh!...
5 more Burpees and then I’m done for today. Then I’m one step closer to not only my goal of keeping my ONE body healthy BUT I’m one step closer towards my Vision of living a long and healthy life with my gorgeous kids and grandkids one day.

Ugh!...
Keeping fit and eating healthy is not something I particularly loooove doing. In fact, it’s my stinky sandwich in life, and I eat it to become a better person and live a longer life. Sometimes you’ve just got to do the not-so-nice-things in order to achieve your goals and vision - because as the saying goes "If it were easy - everyone would be doing it". There needs to a challenge - don’t you agree?

The same applies to running your gorgeous business. There are some real dreary yucky things that one has to do to get your business famous and have paying clients. And even though they’re not the most exciting things to do, they’re certainly effective in the long-run.

I’d love to share my pet advertising peeves with you today to help your business become famous. You ready?

Let’s go!

Disclaimer: All my pet peeves below do to some degree require you to:
a. give it all you’ve got to make things work or
b. outsource the task to professionals who specialize in this area, so that you can concentrate on what you’re good at.

Pet Peeve #1 - Email Marketing

Years ago, the revelation offline was direct marketing. Do you remember receiving cool flyers or gimmicks in the post? And when the novelty wore off, the things would just be thrown to the trash. This still happens today to some extent but not as extensive as a few years ago. Today, direct marketing online is still very much alive - in the form of Email Marketing.

There are still companies BUYING addresses to send to prospective clients via email. Or there are those special marketers who find it necessary to trawl the internet to find email addresses to send one bulk email about their services or products. YUCK! This is one sure way NOT to get your business famous but rather spammed.

So how CAN you use Email Marketing to help your business get famous?

1. Do NOT buy any addresses. If someone wants to keep in contact with your business - give them the CHOICE by letting them opt-in for one of your freebies or eBook online, where the consumer gives you their address with their consent.

2. Do NOT trawl the web searching directories for email addresses. Not only is this time consuming. But you’re wasting your time. Consumers buy from brands that have a reputation or a brand image that is qualitative. When you act like this, the consumer will find you salesy and slime…which is everything you’re not…

3. By all means construct an email campaign that is going to benefit your reader. The golden rule in online marketing is give give give give give give give give give give before you ask. By giving I mean: via your emails, social media campaigns, blogs and/or speaker engagements etc. GIVE your knowledge to your prospective clients - let them be infected by your passion for  what you do. Ignite that fire in them, and they will automatically want to follow you, because of your added value.

4. Use automated email systems that can assist you and not replace you.

Pet Peeve #2 - Inconsistency

If there’s one thing that confuses me beyond my imagination, it’s when businesses have a website and logo. The website is from a few years ago - perhaps responsive, but often not - the content is company-centered and not consumer-centered, the visuals are blurry. There isn’t anything nice to look at.

Then what happens is you go onto social media and find the business is advertised differently. There are mainly shared posts from other companies. The newsfeed is boring and focused only on the business. And you’d never guess that the company is the same as the one on the website. Perhaps you meet the business owner in person. Their message is different to the message on their website and social media platforms. The mixed communication is consistent throughout all online platforms. And this inconsistency, loses your customers. Hence not making you famous.

So what CAN you do to keep your message CONSISTENT online and get your business famous?

Design a brand guide for yourself: In there ensure you always use the following

1. Logo (in black or white and color) if you have a dark background you can use your logo in white. if you have a light background you can use your color or black logo

2. Logo is positioned always in the same spot for easy recognition (the consumer needs to see your presence at least 20 times to sink in that you’re a brand)

3. Ensure that the tone-of-voice that you write in on your website carries through to your blog to your social media platforms - and inevitably how YOU talk. Be you.

4. Ensure that you’re always speaking in a consistent „visual“ language for example: using nature or people or colors.

5. Typography: Ensure your font family is always consistent - fancy fonts are great but if you can’t use them everywhere then forget about them.

6. Apply all this to your social media platforms too.

Pet Peeve #3 - Understanding Social Media

Hiding behind a computer screen and screaming out your opinion and hurting someone’s feelings is a big No-No.

It’s important to understand that if your business becomes famous - you become famous - and you want to be the go-to expert not only because you give invaluable advice but because you’re a charismatic personality too (Note: This is applicable whether you’re an intro-or extrovert).

How can you become famous on social media?

By Advertising yourself:
1. Through videos
2. Through podcasts
3. As the go-to-expert in a particular area
4. By socializing on the different platforms and communicating as a human being and not an automated response.

Becoming famous in your area of expertise requires tenacity, personality, purpose and a vision. And I believe you have it, otherwise you wouldn’t be searching the web for useful information to propel you and your business forward.

If you’ve enjoyed this article, please leave your comments below, I’d love to hear from you and I DO read every single one of your comments.


It’s a Sign is a compilation of self-improvement articles written by entrepreneurs seeking to bring holistic solutions to everyday problems. Read more articles from this feature.


Sashka Hanna-Rappl is an irreverent Branding & Marketing Maestro and a passionate transformational speaker. She's on a mission to inspire businesses to create unforgettable brands and to upgrade their business' level of excellency. Register for her free video training The Breakthrough Secrets To Advertising And Selling Online and create your unforgettable brand today.

ABOUT ANGEL

Angel Quintana

Angel Quintana is the founder of Holistic Fashionista, an alchemical herbalist and mystery school teacher based in Saint Petersburg, Florida. She's incredibly passionate about the alchemical process known as The Great Work and helping others evolve "the archetypes" found in their inner world, so they can confidently answer the questions: WHO AM I and WHY AM I HERE. Learn more about Angel's work at www.theoccultchateau.com


DISCLAIMER

The information on this website is presented for educational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for the diagnosis, treatment, or advice of a qualified, licensed medical professional. The facts presented are offered as information only, not medical advice, and in no way should anyone infer that we are practicing medicine. Seek the advice of a medical professional for proper application of this material to any specific situation.

Rock Your Genius Using Your 6 Personal Power Zones

6 Personal Power Zones

6 Personal Power Zones

ROCK YOUR GENIUS USING YOUR 6 PERSONAL POWER ZONES

Article by Antiqua Lisha
Photo Credit: Dasha & Mari
Magazine: Issue #29

Imagine yourself doing what you love and making a killer living. Working feels like play it comes so natural to you and every area of your life seems like a fairy tale. You look great, when you walk into a room it so comfortable. You know what you want and how to get there. Your friendships and love life are thriving and everyone knows you got it going on!

Does this sound like a dream life? I once thought so too, but it’s not. This is the life you were born to live and the life you can manifest for yourself. Here is the secret – over the last 20 years I have discovered that we are not truly satisfied until we master the 6 personal power zones we all have. When even one is out of sync it will make your life feel miserable. You will feel like you are constantly facing obstacles blocking you from the good life. However, once you master these 6 power zones your life is unstoppable; it literally falls into place like a fairy tail. And you can master them in as little as 1 hour a day of personal attention. 

I know because I have been through the hell of having all 6 of these zones totally out of sink and I have lived in what I call our Magic Zone of Genius when all 6 zones are cared for, as well and believe me when you are connected to your 6 personal power zones your life flows. 

In this article I will reveal to you your 6 personal power zones and give you one starter tip to reclaim your power in each.

Your Power Zones: 

1| Your body - Your body is unique, get to know it on a personal level. For starters what it likes for fuel and how it likes to move. Everybody loves water – recharge your body with early morning lemon water and throughout the day drink ½ your body weight in ounces of water and watch it purr for you. 

2| Your Mind – Your mind can be your best friend. But it is up to you to train it to talk nice. Start by creating personal power sayings and posting them around the house like “ I am worth my attention.” Or “ I rock.”

3| Your Emotions – Your vibe is the most powerful manifesting tool you have. But many of us are afraid of all the emotions we can feel, we label them good and bad and this causes havoc. Start allowing yourself to feel ALL your emotions, once you make peace with them all you will have power over them and they won’t control you anymore. 

4| Your Spiritual life – There is a power greater than us all – you can call it whatever you want but developing your own spiritual, quiet and reflective practice will give you direct hotline to your inner truth with will get you into your flow floating downstream to your destiny.  

“50

5| Relationships – You can’t control others in relationship so we can drop that drama now. But YOU CAN control yourself and it starts by deciding who you want to be in relationships. Start to reclaim your power here by writing down the different relationships you have and define how you want to show up in each.  

For instance: As a friend: I am a loyal and present. As a Mother – I am available and understanding. Knowing how you want to show up in relationship will cut the stress of being all things for everyone and allow you the freedom to just be awesomely you. 

6| Expressing your Purpose/Genius – You have a purpose and you are a genius. However, your purpose and genius are most likely not what you think. They are not something you can train for, go to school for or get a degree in. They are what comes most natural to you. Most of my clients keep trying to find their genius in their interests or in their hero story. However, it is not there, your genius is sprinkled in every corner of your story, it’s your common thread that keeps giving you your spark to keep pushing on. I love helping my clients uncover their genius and jump onto easy street. 

These 6 personal power zones make you, you. When you know yourself and define yourself in all 6 zones you are healthy, happy and wealthy and that is just the way it is. I bet you have seen those people that seem to have it all going for them, everything is just flowing and falling into place. I have interviewed many of them and the common thread is they take time everyday to cultivate and care for these 6 areas of themselves. It’s an internal love story and it is all about you. 


It’s a Sign is a compilation of self-improvement articles written by entrepreneurs seeking to bring holistic solutions to everyday problems. Read more articles from this feature.


Antiqua Lisha is a visibility specialist helping her clients see their beauty and genius and express themselves in the world. She works with women who are ready to leave their past in the past and say YES to their destiny. Her Divine in 9 program awarded her the title of America’s Premier Expert in self-care in 2011, she is a bestselling author a few times over and CEO of three companies all dedicated to helping you know and love yourself, because she believes that we are all worth celebrating. To learn more about Divine in 9 program, join Antiqua for a 30 minute next step consultation and personal power zone review here.

ABOUT ANGEL

Angel Quintana

Angel Quintana is the founder of Holistic Fashionista, an alchemical herbalist and mystery school teacher based in Saint Petersburg, Florida. She's incredibly passionate about the alchemical process known as The Great Work and helping others evolve "the archetypes" found in their inner world, so they can confidently answer the questions: WHO AM I and WHY AM I HERE. Learn more about Angel's work at www.theoccultchateau.com


DISCLAIMER

The information on this website is presented for educational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for the diagnosis, treatment, or advice of a qualified, licensed medical professional. The facts presented are offered as information only, not medical advice, and in no way should anyone infer that we are practicing medicine. Seek the advice of a medical professional for proper application of this material to any specific situation.

3 Tips to Help You Lose Weight Without Feeling Hungry

Lose Weight Without Feeling Hungry

Lose Weight Without Feeling Hungry

3 TIPS TO HELP YOU LOSE WEIGHT WITHOUT FEELING HUNGRY

Article by Sara Davenport
Photo Credit: Dasha & Mari
Magazine: Issue #29

I know how frustrating dieting can be. It feels like an uphill battle. Trying to lose weight and restrict calories, but still having a life can feel like pure torture!!

Let’s be honest, how many times have you heard, “Calories in - Calories out”? That seems to be the way of the dieting world, but if that was the solution, wouldn’t people just lose the weight and be done with it? There wouldn’t be this epidemic of yo-yo dieting and the vicious cycle of weight loss/gain. What if I told you there’s another way to approach dieting and weight loss that doesn’t have to feel so painful and like starvation? Would you be interested? Of course you would! The Oasis Project has a new philosophy about dieting that just might trip your trigger!!

Here are 3 tips to help get you started on your journey:

1 :: Change your timeline. I know. I know. This isn’t what you want to hear, but trust me, if you let go of the idea that you need to lose weight in an insanely short amount of time, you will actually give yourself a chance to succeed! I know you’ve heard the saying, “slow and steady wins the race”, right? It’s a saying we all know because it’s true!! Think about it this way - how long did it take you to gain the weight? None of us gain the weight as quickly as we think we should lose it. Give yourself permission to take the time it takes. The stress you are putting on yourself to lose weight quickly is actually working against your best efforts. So relax and take a deep breath and make friends with your body and the process!

2 :: Embrace “Crowding In”. Crowding In means to start adding in healthier foods and habits without getting rid of your not so healthy ones right away. So, instead of thinking you have to do a 180 and quit sugar, fried foods, caffeine, dairy, gluten, meat, etc etc all at once - just slow your roll and start adding in some healthier items. Try some new fruits and veggies in your day or a little more water. Make a commitment to yourself to start adding in one new thing a day or a week - whatever feels doable to you! Slowly, you will start phasing out the old habits replacing them with the new habits.

“50

3 :: Make an effort to get into the kitchen and start cooking real, whole foods. This might sound like too much for some of you - so I encourage you to start small! Buy an apple, some nuts and then cut up the apple into slices and eat it with the nuts - that’s whole foods cooking at home at it’s most simple!! If you are more seasoned at cooking, just work on making a few more meals at home. When we cook at home, we have complete control over what actually goes into the food AND we get the benefit of Vitamin L (Love) - oh wait, too hippie dippy!?!? HA! Well, I know it sounds cheesy but it’s true. There’s so much more to eating than just the damn calories!! Preparing food with your own hands and sharing a meal with someone you care about creates a completely different experience for your body and health. Try it out and see what I mean!! 


It’s a Sign is a compilation of self-improvement articles written by entrepreneurs seeking to bring holistic solutions to everyday problems. Read more articles from this feature.


As a recovering modeling agent turned trained chef and health coach, Sara Davenport understands the frustration, pain and overwhelm connected with our relationship to food and body image. Her heart warming approach invites you to examine your relationship to food inviting you to fall in love with it again while learning to make cooking easy, healthy AND ridiculously delicious for you and your family! The Oasis Project empowers women through food instead of fighting against it. If you want to learn more about how to start shifting your approach to dieting and weight loss that actually gives you a fighting chance, sign up for her email list and she’ll send you a free audio class to teach you how to stop starving yourself and actually lose weight!

ABOUT ANGEL

Angel Quintana

Angel Quintana is the founder of Holistic Fashionista, an alchemical herbalist and mystery school teacher based in Saint Petersburg, Florida. She's incredibly passionate about the alchemical process known as The Great Work and helping others evolve "the archetypes" found in their inner world, so they can confidently answer the questions: WHO AM I and WHY AM I HERE. Learn more about Angel's work at www.theoccultchateau.com


DISCLAIMER

The information on this website is presented for educational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for the diagnosis, treatment, or advice of a qualified, licensed medical professional. The facts presented are offered as information only, not medical advice, and in no way should anyone infer that we are practicing medicine. Seek the advice of a medical professional for proper application of this material to any specific situation.

3 Ways to Help Your Children Deal with Divorce

Help Your Children Deal with Divorce

Help Your Children Deal with Divorce

3 WAYS TO HELP YOUR CHILDREN DEAL WITH DIVORCE

Article by Sophie Mihalko
Photo Credit: Dasha & Mari
Magazine: Issue #29

Emotions fly high when two people who swore to love each other their whole lives choose to end their relationship and divorce. Parents who are dealing with their own emotions find it often difficult to help their children go through this emotional time as well. The three strategies below will not only help your children go through the separation of their two favorite people with more ease, it will also help you feel more adequate as a parent during these challenging times. 

1| Allow them and you to feel everything.
Children are very aware of their parents emotions. Even if the parent is putting on a smile but they are distraught inside, the children know. If you do not acknowledge your emotions in front of your children, they will be confused and start thinking they have to hide their own feelings. 

While it is important that you let them know what you are feeling, it is also important that you let them know they don’t have to take care of it.

I was often more exhausted than usual when I picked up my kids from school while going through separation and I would say to them: “OK, mom is very tired and very sad tonight, but I still want to know how your day went. Just know if I cry, it’s not about you, ok?” And they got it. I did not make my emotions something bad and ugly I had to hide, I acknowledged them and let them be. So when my daughter one day said to me she was angry at me for not loving her dad anymore I answered “I get that. What else are you angry about?” She felt acknowledged and moved on a lot faster than if I told her not to be angry with me. 

2| Look at the other parent through your child’s eyes.
Divorce is often a choice made after two people decide there is a problem between them. It’s normal to feel that the other person is “the enemy” or just wrong. But your child is not seeing them that way. For them, it’s their parent too. 

“50

It is very important that you look at the other parent, the person you are divorcing, through the eyes of your child. Step back for a moment and see that in your child’s eye, that person is not wrong, that person has not stopped loving them and that person is doing the best they can. When you are with your children, do not speak ill of their other parent. It will allow them to know they are not wrong for loving both of you. As mentioned above, let them know if you are upset but don’t blame anyone for your upset. You have the power to change that upset even if in this moment it’s hard to see. 

3| Focus on the good times.
Going through Divorce does not mean you only have to be angry, sad, upset, confused, frustrated all the time, although it’s ok to feel these emotions. Find a way to enjoy this time too. A divorce means you get to create something new. A new home maybe, new friendships, new activities, new possibilities. What have you always wanted to do with your children that you did not do before because it was either the other parent’s activity or they would not want to do it? My ex husband is very creative so I often let him handle arts and crafts or “make a play” activities. But I am very creative too and now I get a lot of joy finger painting with my kids or putting on dance shows. I get to be the whole mother I know myself to be. 

When you are having fun, your children will know everything is ok. They will know that even if they now have to see their parents separately, their life will still be filled with love and joy. And as a kid, that’s all they truly want. 


It’s a Sign is a compilation of self-improvement articles written by entrepreneurs seeking to bring holistic solutions to everyday problems. Read more articles from this feature.


Sophie Mihalko is a divorced mom of two girls. A former producer of large scale musicals she now facilitates change in the life of women, parents, and people going through life transitions. She is a Certified Facilitator of Access Consciousness® and Right Voice For You®. Divorce is a great change in your life and the life of your children, a change that does not have to be stressful or painful. Grab your FREE DIvorce Recovery Kit - A path to a happy home and life HERE

ABOUT ANGEL

Angel Quintana

Angel Quintana is the founder of Holistic Fashionista, an alchemical herbalist and mystery school teacher based in Saint Petersburg, Florida. She's incredibly passionate about the alchemical process known as The Great Work and helping others evolve "the archetypes" found in their inner world, so they can confidently answer the questions: WHO AM I and WHY AM I HERE. Learn more about Angel's work at www.theoccultchateau.com


DISCLAIMER

The information on this website is presented for educational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for the diagnosis, treatment, or advice of a qualified, licensed medical professional. The facts presented are offered as information only, not medical advice, and in no way should anyone infer that we are practicing medicine. Seek the advice of a medical professional for proper application of this material to any specific situation.

The One Reason Why You Can't Lose Weight

One Reason Why You Can't Lose Weight

One Reason Why You Can't Lose Weight

THE ONE REASON WHY YOU CAN'T LOSE WEIGHT

Article by Dr. Ariane Machin
Photo Credit: Dasha & Mari
Magazine: Issue #29

When we say the struggle is real, we mean it. Constantly thinking about weight, food, body image, working out, and our bodies leaves us exhausted. Every.Day. While we can sometimes put on our happy mask, fun mask, or ‘I don’t give a damn’ mask, on the inside, we feel sad, hopeless, frustrated, angry at ourselves. How did we get to this point? Why didn’t we realize that we were thinner when we were young (but still felt ‘fat’)? Why can’t it be easier? Why can’t we forget about it? Why does looking in the mirror every single day fill us with guilt, shame, and anxiety? Why can’t we just be different? Friends, you are so not alone in the back and forth struggle and just like you, there are many others who feel the exact same way. If you find yourself caught in this web of negative thoughts, I invite you to adopt a small shift in the way you think to bring about positive and long-lasting behavioral change.  

I know some of you might be thinking, how can this be true? There is nothing IN LIFE that is ‘one small simple’ anything, let alone weight loss. Though there is some truth to this statement, there is one very important shift that you need to be using every day to begin living the life that you deserve because you are a worthy, important, worth it, and loved because you simply EXIST.

The key to long-term successful weight loss (and any behavioral change for that matter!) is MINDSET. Our mindset is how we approach, manage, and act in various situations, including those that relate to losing weight. I invite you to quickly do an evaluation of your mindset. Are you someone who has set goals in the past but didn’t meet them? Are you someone who becomes very excited to try a new diet product, trainer, or meal plan thinking this time will be different, only to end up feeling worse than when you started? Do you find yourself on an emotional food roller coaster where you use food to cope with both negative and positive emotions? Do you feel discouraged about your body, food choices, and exercise and just want to give up sometimes? Are you persistent and consistent even when you feel down and discouraged? The way we approach these key aspects of our health and self-care will be the foundation for our future success, losing weight and otherwise.

“50

Now, the first adjustment you need to implement is related to your weight loss mindset. When we are able to set effective short and long term goals, we are able to feel continuously motivated and inspired which can drive us through those moments of self-doubt and defeat. Working through obstacles is PART OF the process, not something that should be avoided. Think about some of your obstacles and triggers for old habits. How can you form an action plan and identify one or two things that you can do or think differently during these tough moments. Being self-aware and monitoring your behaviors will be super helpful as you need this feedback to intervene, but the key will be to evaluate this feedback in a non-judgmental way so you do not get stuck on the guilt or I-am-not-good-enough train.

This actually leads right to the second adjustment that is necessary for long-term weight loss and includes your flexibility mindset. Even if we have the best plans and intentions and organization, there are always going to be things that come up and prevent us from following through on our actions. Being able to quickly adapt and have a ‘go with it’ mentality will allow you to weave through the ebbs and flows of uncertainty and change. In fact, the one thing we CAN count on is to not expect the expected! Thus, the ability to adapt quickly and get right back up will determine your trajectory for success!

The third adjustment you need to make is to embrace a gratitude mindset. We need to be able to appreciate our bodies for what they can do for us versus being obsessed with how tiny or smaller or different we need them to be. This is often the most challenging mindset to adapt because these mind games just create negative and hurtful distortions, but we need to recognize and care for ourselves even when we feel awful about our lack of progress. One of my favorite sayings that I often share with clients is ‘we can’t nurture what we don’t see’ and there is nothing closer to the truth. If we do not treat our body kindly and see the good in it, it will not be possible to nurture it in the way that facilitates confidence, compassion, and long-lasting weight loss.  

Any long-term behavioral change, including weight loss, is going to test our limits, challenge our beliefs, make us face our self-doubts, and be an amazing opportunity to live by our resilience and strength. Altering your mindset about this entire process will help you adjust expectations and be able to take setbacks in stride (or at least make them a little less toxic). Now, go make today ridiculously amazing!


It’s a Sign is a compilation of self-improvement articles written by entrepreneurs seeking to bring holistic solutions to everyday problems. Read more articles from this feature.


Dr. Machin is a Clinical and Sport Psychologist, Wellness Coach, and Professor of Psychology. Her latest program, A Course in Weight Loss, kicks off on October 5th! If you have been frustrated at your efforts in weight loss, emotional eating, and overall health habits, come join us as she teaches you a variety of tools and skills that have been proven to help individuals lose and maintain weight while developing a compassionate and body-resilient perspective of empowerment and self-care. Learn more about A Course in Weight Loss HERE.

ABOUT ANGEL

Angel Quintana

Angel Quintana is the founder of Holistic Fashionista, an alchemical herbalist and mystery school teacher based in Saint Petersburg, Florida. She's incredibly passionate about the alchemical process known as The Great Work and helping others evolve "the archetypes" found in their inner world, so they can confidently answer the questions: WHO AM I and WHY AM I HERE. Learn more about Angel's work at www.theoccultchateau.com


DISCLAIMER

The information on this website is presented for educational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for the diagnosis, treatment, or advice of a qualified, licensed medical professional. The facts presented are offered as information only, not medical advice, and in no way should anyone infer that we are practicing medicine. Seek the advice of a medical professional for proper application of this material to any specific situation.

4 Designer Myths That Keep You From Discovering Your Design Voice

4 DESIGNER MYTHS THAT KEEP YOU
FROM DISCOVERING YOUR DESIGN VOICE

Designer Myths That Keep You From Discovering Your Design Voice

Designer Myths That Keep You From Discovering Your Design Voice

Article by Jennifer Nesbit Holt
Photo Credit: Dasha & Mari
Magazine: Issue #29

If you’ve sought out self-help tools to re-align with your creative process, or quietly tracked the success of other designers, you have firsthand experience of the power creative flow has to not only engage and ignite a following, but also to produce better bodies of work to support a life of freedom and creativity you desire.  There are many myths we tell ourselves as designers, not to mention a pile of mistakes.

Maybe you’ve even been one of those people who secretly feels you're not good enough because you didn't get your design education from the most elite school. You might even suffer from low self-esteem when it comes to thinking you can grow your design business to the next level. You know in your bones you are doing what you love (and your good at it) but you want in on the secrets of award winning designers.

So why does the idea of putting yourself first have you quaking in your boots?

Let me guess…

  • You don’t mind a little grunt work, but you don't know how to grow a successful design business in such a saturated market.
  • You love the idea of delivering high quality projects to more prestigious clients, but you bite your nails, second guessing if you're 'good enough'.
  • You’ve got foolproof concepts in mind and you're tired of playing small .

Ready to unlock Pandora's box to release the blocks holding you back from being seen and heard as a designer?

Busy designers (like you) don’t have a SECOND to waste on activities that aren’t directly linked to profit. If you’ve ever tried creating a regular self-care routine before, you know that sinking feeling of guilt that you 'should' be in your creative zone rockin' out projects through to completion. (Ugh! It’s the worst, isn’t it?)

In my experience, I’ve found that four major myths are to blame for designer doubt and not feeling like your good enough. I’m going to debunk those myths for you, and show you how to replace them with truly simple, effective practices that will not only reward all your hard work, but have you doing kart wheels in the grass with excitement.  

Myth #1: Creating is organic, easy and effortless.

Now this myth, for the most part, is not how we see ourselves as designers but how non-creatives view our process. Our work is always fun and our ideas flow abundantly. Sheesh!

Now there are some artists who do fall into this mindset but we call them amateurs (or egotistical ass-hats)! However, a word of caution...if you are seasoned in your career, you can slip back into this mindset when you start berating yourself for not being good enough. The more creative blocks pile up, the more you ask, “Why is this not easy anymore?” Boo hoo, boo hoo (been there).

Self-care must take priority and should be treated as a delicacy that you infuse into your day, EVERY day.

Specifically, my Creative Life Series includes holistic strategies designed for the hard working designer in mind.  It also includes actionable components that you can use while you work! This is SO not about studying the best graphic design books.

And when everything lines up perfectly, your business grabs hold of a healthy and effective productive machine that acts as the backbone of your growing design business and gives you the opportunity to grow and soar at will.

Myth # 2: Every project you create should be perfect.

I hear ya, sweet thing!  Designers are notorious for perfectionism because...well, it goes with the territory of getting a concept through to completion.  Also, depending upon your field of design, it might even have to do with the safety of others. 

But here is the thing....if you don't feed that nasty little critter called 'perfectionism', the flow of ideas comes easier and the stress starts to disappear.  Imagine for a moment that you design in a peaceful state and not a reactionary-took-some-no-dozz state?

How? How can you be gentle on yourself, how can you stop nit picking every idea apart?  I'll tell ya how... Just to name a few, some of the best sources of for self-care are things like yoga, mediation, sound healing (that's my fav), movement, etc...  I want to encourage you to find something this week that helps take you out of the series-must-do-it-right mode and into some peace and serenity. Yes! This does require action...but you've already proven that you’re willing to put in effort–you just need the reassurance of knowing that every bit of energy you put into yourself IS for your business and will come back to you tenfold.

What you CAN’T afford to do is waste time and energy in perpetual “figure it out” mode.

Myth #3 – Designers must struggle, must suffer and always put the client first to be truly successful.

When you put self-care first you are able to communicate effectively through your work as well as to your clients.  Concepts become fluid.  You can not longer operate on the notion that hard work means misery. When you focus on your own sanity, you will attract the right clients and projects to enjoy your life with confidence and gumption!

Hint:  You are a treasure trove of abundance and when you open the doors to more business abundance, you will know JUST what to do when things get shaky.  (Scroll down to grab my freebie and discover exactly what I do to recover my footing)

Myth #4 – “What if I fail to produce or get stuck? Will my career will fall apart?”

False, false false! Self-awareness and Self-care strategies are a must if you are looking to grow your design business.

And if you’re reading this post RIGHT NOW, then you’re in a unique position to catch wind of this new strategic approach before anyone else in your niche does, and in doing so, claim your stake in the rich blue ocean of growing your business to the next level, and it's not about where you got your education.

So chances are that even if your competitors are already using these holistic strategies, you can gain a competitive advantage by being the FIRST to build a design business backed with full intention, creative flow and magnetic energy based on some of the proven techniques, and strategies that I’m about to share with you. Keep reading . . . now that you know the 4 designer's myths, I’ve created a DETAILED, free cheat sheet to help you with your first (or next!) step to finding your authentic design voice . . .

My wish for you is to sidestep the countless traps that make most designers burnout, and instead learn how to create a masterpiece called your own design biz.


It’s a Sign is a compilation of self-improvement articles written by entrepreneurs seeking to bring holistic solutions to everyday problems. Read more articles from this feature.


Jennifer Nesbit Holt, CEO/Founder of Flow Creative Design, is an expert in instilling masterful evolution in professional designers seeking to let go of perfectionism, stop stalking influential designers to unleash your design voice. 

Stop Resisting and learn how To Become an Award Winning Designer. Grab her new freebie "Mistakes Every Designer Makes" (when they desire to be an industry mover and shaker).

ABOUT ANGEL

Angel Quintana

Angel Quintana is the founder of Holistic Fashionista, an alchemical herbalist and mystery school teacher based in Saint Petersburg, Florida. She's incredibly passionate about the alchemical process known as The Great Work and helping others evolve "the archetypes" found in their inner world, so they can confidently answer the questions: WHO AM I and WHY AM I HERE. Learn more about Angel's work at www.theoccultchateau.com


DISCLAIMER

The information on this website is presented for educational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for the diagnosis, treatment, or advice of a qualified, licensed medical professional. The facts presented are offered as information only, not medical advice, and in no way should anyone infer that we are practicing medicine. Seek the advice of a medical professional for proper application of this material to any specific situation.