WANT TO CHANGE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH ALCOHOL?

Article by Lora Anne Strong

So you want to change your relationship with alcohol and take control of your life?

Here’s some valuable tips, to get started, living an alcohol-free life.

Everyone comes to this decision, for many different reasons. It could be treatment, because of legal issues, surrounding alcohol, relationship issues, incarceration, or wanting to live a healthier, more spiritual life and booze, just doesn’t fit. Or maybe you just need a break.

I’ve been down this road a couple times. I was sober for 13+ years and recently, I put down the drink on 12/12/15. So, I have a little experience in this arena.

First, I want to say: This is YOUR recovery journey, no one else's. You may get inspiration/support from others, but it’s for you to decide, what will, work for YOU. This part is crucial, when navigating this path. You may try many different programs and you are also allowed to shift, as needed, for your support.

You get to choose.

Here’s the thing, what you may need in the early months, may not be needed, in year 2.

You get to decide.

If you are in the beginning days of your alcohol-free life, surround yourself with as many tools/support, as you can; Podcasts, books, people that are walking the walk, groups, meetings, (if that’s your thing.)

There are so many different meetings these days to choose from, besides, AA. I started out with AA, both times, to get myself grounded and have immediate support.

Like I've said many times, everyone is different, find what resonates with you.

In the beginning, you may go through many different emotions. Depending on how long you drank, how much, etc., there are shifts that are going to happen on an emotional, physical and spiritual level.

This is VERY normal. Get as much support as needed. A coach/therapist/program, may be beneficial in the beginning days.

When we put down the booze, that’s when the true healing begins.

Create your TOOLBOX and use it, as much as you need!

In the beginning of my journey, here are some of the tools that worked for me:

Podcasts:

Seltzer Squad
This Naked MindEditing Our Drinking and Our Lives
The Unruffled Podcast
The Sober Experiment
Sober as a Mother

These are some of my favorites. There are so many! Again, find what resonates with you. I binged on, HOME PODCAST, in the beginning days.

Create your favorite MOCKTAIL.

Now that we aren’t drinking alcohol, it’s time to look for some alternatives. When we decide to dump the booze, we will need a healthy alternative. This is a great time to explore those amazing, alcohol-free mocktails! What are some of your favorite flavors/fruits? I buy frozen fruit and add it to my Lacroix and use the fruit as my ice cubes!

The options are unlimited!

Here’s a few of my favorite mocktail links:

mixthatdrink.com/28-mocktails-and-non-alcoholic-drinks-to-love/

townandcountrymag.com/leisure/drinks/how-to/g785/best-mocktail-recipes/

If you are out with friends, and you get asked, “Do you want a drink?”, or “Why aren't you drinking?” It's your decision what you decide to tell others or not. You may want to think about this, prior to going to an outing, where there may be alcohol served.

Some examples can be:

I’m the designated driver tonight.
I’m not drinking tonight. (that’s it.)
I’m on a mission to be healthier, so I’m not drinking right now.
I’m training in the morning and want to feel strong.

You can certainly say that you’re on a SOBER JOURNEY, but it’s your decision, who you share that with and your comfort level.

Many women I have worked with, are stressed enough, they aren’t ready to share with everyone.

Just be prepared, so you are in a position that supports your decision. It’s okay to bring your own beverage, so you’re not tempted. I also want to stress the importance of taking care of yourself in these beginning days. It’s okay to not attend the parties/gatherings that may be triggering.

Your responsibility is, to YOURSELF AND YOUR SOBER JOURNEY!

Boundaries are NECESSARY.

What is a boundary? A boundary is a limit you can set, on what you will accept of another person’s words or actions.

If your goal is to heal and live alcohol free, you are allowed to create boundaries within your circle/home. I didn’t allow alcohol in my home, in the beginning and stayed away from places, that would be too triggering. I stopped going out with old drinking buddies and asked to meet for coffee with those I wanted to stay in touch with.

A big concern I’ve seen in the recovery communities, is, “Do we need to find new friends?,
Are we going to lose our old drinking buddies?” “Is everything going to change?”
All I can say regarding this is, YES, most likely, life will change.

I tell clients, if you’re feeling triggered, do what serves your recovery journey. You may need to distance yourself, or create a boundary, with certain people and the friendships sometimes fade or evolve to something even better.

Most of us in recovery, had very little boundaries in our lives. It’s something we learn, as we navigate the waters of our healing.

Types of BOUNDARIES:

Material
Physical
Mental
Emotional

YOU decide what works best for you and your situation. Be Gentle with yourself.

Make sure you are practicing self-care at this time. In the beginning of this BEAUTIFUL and difficult process, don’t fill your plate up. Get help where you can and rest when you need. I took a lot of salt baths, with candles and my oils. I truly started taking care of myself again, MIND, BODY AND SPIRIT.You may feel overwhelmed at this stage, (it’s completely normal.)

REST. BREATHE. CRY. AND BREATHE SOME MORE.

Your body is healing and coming back HOME. It’s a process that cannot be rushed. I am almost 5 years alcohol-free and I will tell you, there are difficult times and the MOST AMAZING MOMENTS AND REWARDS!

If you slip up, please do not beat yourself up. Get up, grab onto a life preserver and keep swimming. You’ve got this! Keep going and don’t give up, And make sure you have those that support you, on speed dial.

Gifts I have received, living an Alcohol Free Life.

Freedom
Healing
Growth
Clarity
Inner Peace
Better skin
So much Gratitude
True Friendships
Clear eyes
Joy
Creating a life, I love waking up to!

P.S. DON’T YOU DARE GIVE UP!

This journey isn’t an easy one and yet, it is THE MOST REWARDING ONE, you will travel.

In closing, I leave you with this… Changing our lives isn't easy, but 100% possible!

There was a time when I wanted to give up. Everything around me was crashing hard. It was an emotional bottom and I’m so freaking grateful it happened.

I got out of bed, after a long cry and started crawling forward, away from the life I no longer wanted. Yes, I fell, but I continued to get up, every time! I believe in YOU, keep going, surround yourself with those that GET IT, people that will love and support you.