HOW TO END THE SILENT SUFFERING IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Article by Erron Noel

Can you be totally naked? ... in front of your partner? Completely seen, celebrated, admired and understood?

Or do you feel you want to hide, cover up and be quiet as possible?

[... with the one person, who REALLY *SHOULD* be closest to you]

I have had so many people reach out to me revealing they are not sure how to get through a relationship challenge:

Thinking about leaving their husband
Not sure how to navigate a divorce as to land on their own two feet
To come into wholeness after their separation
What to do to bring intimacy and connection back to the LOVE STORY they once had
What to do next because they feel like they've exhausted all options, "to get him to see the problem"
Worrying if they are making a mistake by speaking up

Here is why they feel so alone!

Most women, besides trying to navigate the situation itself, are feeling totally ashamed and shity about the turmoil they are in!!!

Maybe for you too.

Your relationship is on the rocks. And you're trying desperately to hold the pieces together.

I know that feeling. I was in that place before as well. I know how painful it is. And how alone I felt.

You feel exhausted.
You feel guilty.
You feel embarrassed & sad.
You feel numb and lifeless inside!

So many women have found “success” in their careers and professions, and have earned incredible respect within their communities (e.g. the workplace, their kids’ schools, church, community organizations). They have created a certain image of the life and person that they are and so there is NO WAY they can reveal what’s actually happening behind closed doors. It would go against that image. And that, subconsciously, is too painful to bear.

So, they keep it tucked away. Just for themselves to see and to figure out.

All the while, they are suffocating.

What she knows (because it has afforded her success in the other arenas of her life) she applies here in her relationship.

But it’s not the ticket.

It has created a hopeless, very confusing situation. She has no idea how to fix it or how to get out.

THIS is what there is for her to know-

What she has been doing to try to enact change is not going to work. She needs to know the NEW way. And she needs to understand what IS actually happening and why it is so.

Now this can become pretty deep, in the work that I do with my clients. But I want to get you started in the right direction if you are experiencing this silent pain yourself.

/Here comes the next level consciousness that I guide women to accessing; it is available to all of us now./

First,
What you are experiencing is NOT from what your partner ISN’T doing.

Let me repeat that.

What you are experiencing is NOT from what your partner ISN’T doing.

“WHY didn’t he ____?!”
“How come he doesn’t support me?!”
“He just doesn’t understand.”

Stop blaming and feeling that things are being done TO you. The emotional pain and disappointment stems from YOU. I know this may trigger you, but it’s the TRUTH you must know.

Second,
If you are using FORCE (which means anything associated with manipulation, coercion, threats, convincing, passive aggressiveness, silent treatment, or arguing), then STOP!

You are expecting something of your partner in order for the change to happen. AND you are putting all the Power outside of yourself. YOU hold the Power (we will get to that…)

When you give them the Power, you will inevitably end up feeling disappointed and that this is a hopeless matter. And, you are spending a tremendous amount of your energy that isn’t necessary.

Third,
It’s time you understand what boundaries and standards really are; there is a huge misconception out there.

Most believe that if they are wronged, a boundary has been crossed. But if a standard was set then the boundary would have never been crossed in the FIRST PLACE.

Imagine a fence and wild animals roaming free. The animals would not come into your yard and eat your vegetable plants IF a fence was in place (a good one that is).

In our language here, this would mean that you know how to ENERGETICALLY back your standards.

So the fact that your lover, your life partner or your boyfriend is “not doing what he needs to” has ALL to do with the standards YOU have put in place. Or, actually haven’t.

The NEW way (I mentioned before) is for her to NOT get her partner’s buy-in, but to establish her own standards and know how to hold them. This will allow the environment and the things around her to begin to shift and mold to what she has set.

The woman ALWAYS set the stage.

And she creates the new setting and the new experience, having nothing to do with FORCE. (Which is foreign, more than likely, to how she has gotten to success before.)

The best news I can deliver (in such heartbreaking and confusing times you may be experiencing) is that ALL YOU NEED to find the resolution you seek is YOU!

YOU can change the tides in what you are experiencing on a dime. And have it be everlasting! All with the NEW way.

I know you so desperately want to be happy and live in harmony! Like I said, I was there too. And you probably hold the belief that it will all work out.

But, there is a HUGE difference between just saying you have faith
Vs
Feeling it in your gut with SURETY and UNDERSTANDING, knowing it will happen .

The latter offers a peace of mind, the first never will.

And the latter is what I want for you!

I know how much you hold in the privacy of your heart.

You are worthy of finding the resolve you crave!

You are a beautiful being on this Earth and it's time for you to be able to SEE that beautiful reflection you are.

To be able to stand there naked, fully honored, celebrated and cherished.

Cheers, to you beginning the NEW way!