We all go through experiences in our upbringing that change and shape us. Some of the experiences can be traumatic and cause negative emotional ramifications. Some of us go through much more toxicity than others. However, the human mind, and particularly the child mind, sees trauma a bit differently.
We as adults would consider physical or sexual abuse for example, a trauma. Yet you as a child could experience trauma much more acutely. Something as seemingly insignificant as your parents fighting over money and leaving you with the neighbor to save on sitter costs could cause trauma. Your child self may have thought, why don’t they want to be with me? Is there something wrong with me? Why have they left me all alone? Do they not love me anymore? This is all because of money. I hate money. Money is evil.
We as adults have the sensibility to rationalize these thoughts, however the child mind is still forming. It is experiencing emotions, many of which for the first time, and it hasn’t quite learned the ability of discernment and critical thinking. So these thoughts hurt us. They take root in our emotional core, our Inner Child, and if gone untreated, they can sabotage our relationships with ourselves and others. This includes our relationships with money too.
Leda DeZwaan from Spirit Science says these family patterns, including our family’s relationships to their finances, get passed on from all the way back from ancestors, to great grandparents, to grandparents to parents, to you. For example, your grandma’s theme was being too mild. She always took care of other people and let herself and her money be used by everyone. Grandpa’s theme could be something like alcoholism and smoking which included a bad gambling habit and a lot of spending.
Your mother’s theme then translates to a self sacrificial energy. This can look like unfocused attention, lack of love for oneself or for neglect of her children. She may chose to avoid her finances and conversations around money. These traditions get passed down in the exact same way oppression, false truth and hierarchy do. It perpetuates the system and keeps the mass consciousness a a lower, dense level.
According to Sara Wiseman from DailyOM there are seven karmic shadows that are a part of our family history:
Abuse
Addiction
Violence
Poverty
Illness
Abandonment
Betrayal
This can be present no matter how difficult or joyful your family relationships have been. The interactions you had with your relatives guided your conditioning and value system. As you get older, these ideas may start to adversely affect the way you make decisions, including decisions around money.
It serves as beneficial to do a personal inventory to heal and work past your parent’s karma, including their money stories.
Some of the ways to heal family karma include journaling, guided meditation, energetic cleansing, and karmic mapping.
This can benefit our relationships with money as well. If you were traumatized by poverty, perhaps your parents often fought over money and were unsure of how they were going to pay the bills, this could affect the way you feel about money. This energy could be forcing its way into your relationships and spending habits. You avoid managing your finances altogether because it subconsciously becomes an element of pain or suffering. You begin to normalize the idea that people fight over money and this becomes a theme in your relationship with your significant other.
No one wants to live that way. A victim to our circumstances, replaying the same episode of our parents poor spending habits, or failed marriage. You should not blame your parents. You have to forgive your parents and most importantly, you have to forgive yourself. However, you should identify these themes when they are present and understand that you have a choice. A choice of whether or not to fall a victim to that same patterns and behaviors that lead to scarcity or to choose differently. We have more than enough resources in this day and age to accomplish anything we set out to.
You can regain control of your life and your finances. By breaking the ties of your ancestors energy around money, you allow yourself to be liberated. To build wealth and manifest your wildest dreams. You have what it takes. There is enough, and you are enough. And remember, you deserve to be empowered by your finances, not debilitated by them.
