5 WAYS TO REGAIN {some} CONTROL AFTER TRAUMA
Article by Michelle Bennington
Photo Credit: Dasha & Mari
Magazine: Issue #29
You’re a survivor and you’ve lost control, but you are not alone. Something terrible has happened and left you uncertain about everything you once thought you knew. Or, maybe you never claimed to have it together to begin with. Either way, you’re here because you’re trying, you want to feel like yourself again, and you know there is hope. While there are no quick fixes and your journey is undoubtedly your own, there are a few things you can do to regain (some) control today.
Be okay with not being okay.
As tempting as it might become, you simply cannot force feed yourself happiness. You are a strong and magnificent human but let's be honest, even Wonder Woman requires recovery. Sometimes life throws you villains that will temporarily knock you down, and acknowledging that you have fallen does not mean you aren’t capable of getting up. Accept that you've taken a hit and attempt to allow yourself to be okay with that. This does not mean you have been defeated nor does it mean you can’t rise again stronger than before. You’re not okay today, but you will be soon.
Write it out.
All of the words you've been swallowing back and everything you think is going to make other people uncomfortable, release them. Send all of those emotions out through your fingertips even if they’re impossible to translate later. You're not looking to write a best selling novel, you are simply acknowledging that there's a hell of a lot happening inside of you and you want it out. Whether you’re a writer, artist, or a mathematician, allowing the words to escape will bring you some relief. Take the time to write everyday about everything and about nothing. Write until the paragraphs start becoming more clear, and then continue writing.
Don’t rely on answers, justification, or finding someone to blame (including yourself).
This one won’t be easy and while you may certainly deserve all of the above, focusing your energy here isn't going to help you regain any real control. Sometimes it’s best to take a step back from the unknown to refocus on what we do know. Perhaps everything doesn’t happen for a reason we can comprehend but something beautiful CAN always be born from tragedy, eventually. Maybe not today, maybe not for ten years but rest assured that shining light will appear and any energy you spent running from it will have been wasted. Something horrible happened, and you may not understand why, but you don't have to.
