Before I Put On My Make-Up, I Say A Little Prayer for You

BEFORE I PUT ON MY MAKE-UP, I SAY A LITTLE PRAYER FOR YOU

Dear Diary,

Yesterday... all my troubles didn't seem so far away; they were right in front of me rearing their pretty little faces. Technical glitches, important decisions to be made, and a behavior I was forced to look at dead on. It's not easy to have the breath ripped from your lungs only to find yourself gasping for air in a noisy restaurant that leaves you in a panic. That's what happened to me last night.

I was starving. I hadn't gone grocery shopping in weeks. I needed my green juice and frozen strawberries. I was famished. While I was impatiently waiting for my How to Increase Traffic with SEO Vimeo presentation to finish converting, My husband came home early last night so we could go to dinner-- he pulled up front to grab me. I hate keeping people waiting, especially my clients, but I had to eat.

When we arrived at one of my favorite lunch spots, I had no idea they had become such a hot spot for dinner dining. I ordered a spring greens salad with an apple cider vinegar dressing, asparagus, radishes, and delicious butter lettuce and a teeny tiny coconut cupcake for dessert. As I waited anxiously for our food to reach the table, a noisy party of 8 sat behind us and let's just say they were having way too much fun!

Laughter like hyenas danced around the high ceilings creating echoes that were burning a whole in my soul, at least that's what it felt like. I plugged my ears. I wanted it to stop. My heart began racing faster as my starvation took over and flight or fright set in. I jumped out of my seat, leaving my husband at the table snacking on his food (mine was prepared incorrectly and sent back to the kitchen) as I ran outside to catch my breath and to get away from the hyenas that were killing me.

I hid in the corner near a little mid-century boutique where I had shopped with a girlfriend a few weeks prior. I tried to collect myself, but I was afraid to go back in. I didn't. I couldn't. Eventually, my husband came outside to look for me and asked if I was okay. I told him I wasn't and that I couldn't go back inside. So we grabbed a table outside to finish our meal.

I couldn’t go inside. Was I becoming agoraphobic? Did I hate people? What the hell what the problem?

With Vimeo in the back of my mind, I scarfed down my food and the luscious coconut bite-size cupcake and told my husband we desperately need to go grocery shopping. We can't live in a household without food. He agreed. As we finished our last bites, the feeling of panic didn't subside, the tears filled up my eyes and the thought of going to Trader Joe's froze me in my tracks. The thought of all those people shopping next to me left me feeling paralyzed. I couldn't go inside. Was I becoming agoraphobic? Did I hate people? What the hell what the problem?

And then I remembered those days of panic and anxiety attacks that once ruled my life just 5 years ago. I feared for my life. Fear that the oxygen will not be available and that my little heart would be so fast that one day it would just stop working. 

Instead of leaving Trader Joe's, I powered through it. I needed my vegetables, fruits, and healthy food to remedy this health crisis. I needed my chamomile tea! Food is what healed me those years behind me and it could heal me again.

Once we returned home, I went to my office and posted my Vimeo presentation that anxiously awaited hundreds of registered guests and off my newsletter went to complete my workday.

But the real work was not over. Important decisions were dangling in front of me, decisions that didn't involved food or loud noises. The decisions that were plaguing me, clouding my vision, and wearing my heart thin. Today, I am prepared to make those decisions and seal it with a Prayer.

When all is said and done, it is you I choose.

When the going gets tough, it is me I will choose.

When time is limited, it is for me I will choose, not you.

When it comes to work, it is you I choose.

When I'm unable to breathe, it is me I choose.

And when it's time to let go, it is now I will choose.

What makes me tick is researching and digging. My love for learning and sharing is what gets me jumping out of bed and onto the computer to explore what is unknown to me. It isn't about the spotlight or even the money. It is knowledge that keeps me invigorated, motivated, and inspired to help others. the only thing that holds me back is my inability to say No. Not Right Now. Some other time. Thanks, but No thanks.

Today, I am letting go of things that I need to say No to. Things I cannot do Right Now, things I need to say Thanks, but No thanks. It might have taken an annoying technical glitch and the wind knocked out of me to find what truly matters to me, but it's clear now.

  • Having an ONLINE business 
     

  • Researching + Sharing My Information with My CLIENTS
     

  • Having a Stocked Fridge of HEALTHY FOODS
     

  • Taking more time for MYSELF

For now, everything else is for some other time. Thanks, but no thanks.

Love,

Angel

Photo Credit: Pinterest

 

About Angel

Angel Quintana is the Founder/CEO of Holistic Fashionista magazine, the #1 online haven for over-achievers in business. Her extensive knowledge in brand building, search engine marketing, and authentic selling strategies naturally attracts rebels, tastemakers, and visionaries who are ready to ditch the copycat syndrome, play by their own rules, and curate a sustainable and profitable brand using the internet. Her innovative coaching program, Signature System helps business trendsetters develop and market a step-by-step plan that solves an urgent problem in the marketplace using what they already have in their personal toolbox, now being offered at her design+marketing house, The Willow House of Design. To learn more take her Business Trendsetter Archetype Quiz or visit her website for details.

Thank You Mean Girls for Making Me So Successful

THANK YOU MEAN GIRLS FOR MAKING ME SO SUCCESSFUL

Dear Diary

As I sit here ready to launch the new interactive version of Holistic Fashionista magazine's 10th issue, I'm pondering the growing pains of rapid growth. While I knew Holistic Fashionista would gain a lot of popularity-- the article i wrote 16 months went viral-- I had no idea of the internal battles I would endure along the road to success. Literally, I had NO clue.

Misfits Are Cool

Misfits Are Cool

With too many twists and turns, partnerships + clients gone rye, last year I was pretty beaten up as I got to know my own kind, 'women"; not just any kind of woman, the highly intelligent woman in business. It reminds me of high school and all the cattiness between the ladies, but I'm trying to see the bright side and how it will inspire my speech at the Digital Marketing Business conference I'll be giving in front of 1000 people (to say the least, this is way out of my comfort zone) this May. High school was full of catty bitches + their evil stares and I'm finding being in a circle of smart entrepreneurs is tainted with the occasional evil eye as well.

I remember just 18 months ago wishing my business would move faster, make more money quicker, and hurry-the-fuck-up. I was incredibly impatient. I worked day and night and cried all the time. I was a wreck, but I kept trotting along anyway. Today, I discovered why rapid growth is not really an ideal situation AT ALL. In fact, it's kinda the pits. However, I'm challenging myself to see the bright side.

The growing pains have now morphed into valuable life lessons in business etiquette (if that even exists) and the self-discovery expedition I am on as a woman entrepreneur; how at times it brings out the mean girl side in some, just like those catty little girls in high school. I wanted to RUN with the Misfits in high school, get away from the chaos of being a 'pretty girl' or the 'popular girl', for which I was always misjudged. After all, I wasn't the majority; I was the only brunette in the popular crowd and I stood out like a sore thumb. I also had a bitchy side, which I used regularly to protect my nerdy guy friends and to steer the catty bitches FAR, FAR away from me. I might have made a few enemies while I was at it, but at least I was clear-- don't mess with me or my friends.

What I failed to realize as my journey to success flourished, was I was being guided, even as far back as high school. Every wrong turn I made lead me to another open door, which I voluntarily walked inside. I cried along the way and I hid my hurt feelings well. I was determined to find what I was looking for.

The hardships were and still are there to prep me for what's to come. As I write this speech for the convention in Raleigh this May, I'm doing a lot of reflecting, soul searching, and internal dialoguing that is preparing me for that even bigger audience. Just as those mean girls in high school were prepping me for the catty women entrepreneurs who would pass my path last year (and I'm sure the many years to come); I have continued to embrace my inner misfit, stand up for myself, and delete those who are unkind to me. Success is about making 'room' for bigger and better things, just as clearing the clutter in your home might bring you a killer relationship; the Feng Shui of rapid growth is always constant.

The more tears I cried, the more times I was burned, the more followers/fans I gained, and the more money I made, new problems were presented. The only difference now is I know it is all part of a master plan. As tough as it's been, the new friends I have made and the clients that continue to teach ME while I coach them has been surreal. They SHOW me my worth. They SEE things in me I don't see. They are prime examples of the superpowers the Universe possesses.

In a few months I will attend my 20 year high school reunion and you know what? I hope the mean girls stay home. It's onward and upward from here. The more lives I touch, the more value I bring to the world, the more settled I feel in this flux that is Rapid Growth.

Love,

Angel

Photo Credit: Pinterest

About Angel

Angel Quintana is the Founder/CEO of Holistic Fashionista magazine, the #1 online haven for over-achievers in business. Her extensive knowledge in brand building, search engine marketing, and authentic selling strategies naturally attracts rebels, tastemakers, and visionaries who are ready to ditch the copycat syndrome, play by their own rules, and curate a sustainable and profitable brand using the internet. Her innovative coaching program, Signature System helps business trendsetters develop and market a step-by-step plan that solves an urgent problem in the marketplace using what they already have in their personal toolbox, now being offered at her design+marketing house, The Willow House of Design. To learn more take her Business Trendsetter Archetype Quiz or visit her website for details.

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Balance is Bull for Success, Yet Mandatory for Your Sanity

BALANCE IS BULL FOR SUCCESS, YET MANDATORY FOR YOUR SANITY

Dear Diary,

After 7 full days in Palm Springs, I am seeing a lovely new door opening and perspective that was long overdue. While I missed my oversized computer desktop screen, I was able to find other views to keep my wheels spinning in a new direction while actively still creatively inspired. The difference was my wheels were in desert where life is more simple, less chaotic than the big city of Los Angeles, and where I have a hot tub. The hot tub was a clear indicator how overworked I was.

palm springs.jpg
The difference was my wheels were in desert where life is more simple, less chaotic than the big city of Los Angeles, and where I have a hot tub.

So that got me thinking. One of the things a lot of people don't talk about when it comes to running a business (at least if you plan to have a successful one), is they fail to tell you that it's going to cost not only a monetary investment, but also a time investment... and a lot of it. Balance is bull when it comes to being successful and I'm not kidding-- I have felt the pain of being a workaholic. My butt totally hurts! I sit way to much!

I was open to letting new doors open and even getting my exercise routine back in order. In fact, it took seven days away from home to my favorite retreat destination of jacuzzi time, shoe shopping, and eating like a queen (health food, of course) to see how bad I had let it get. What I learned is how ridiculously overworked I had become and it was costing me my sanity. Before my vacation, most days I'd wake up and work in my pajamas from 7am-11am before I'd even take a shower. And I wouldn't exercise much at all and sometimes I'd catch myself running to the shower when I heard my husband pull in from a 10 hour day of work. I hadn't had a social life for as long as I can remember and it was getting a little lonely. I was out of control!

I discovered the fine line of what it takes to be successful, but I don't think it really is about balance at all. It's actually about your sanity. You might have to work your tail off to get your business off the ground, but if you don't make time to keep your sanity by getting your butt off the chair, your business is really nothing more than a facade. I had my herbs, probiotics, green juices, and hot lemon water stocked to keep me healthy, but I couldn't clear my mind. In fact, I was exhausted. 

You might have to work your tail off to get your business off the ground, but if you don’t make time to keep your sanity by getting your butt off the chair, your business is really nothing more than a facade.
angelquintanaShoes.jpeg

I decided after day 6 that it was time for some much needed leg lifts, weights, and crunches to get the ball rolling. I wanted my sanity back. I wanted that desire and hunger I once had for my business to have a rebirth so I could be the type of leader my tribe needs: SOMEONE SANE.

I'm happy to say that shopping therapy WORKS and so does 20 minutes a day of exercising. It absolutely rejuvenated me. When I returned home from Palm Springs I was energized to EDIT. I wanted to pair down and take the weight off my shoulder, plus my wardrobe (and shoe collection) were out of control, so I spent the evening color coordinating my closet, tossing over 10 pairs of shoes and a bag full of clothes, which I happily donated to my 2 beautiful assistants (to make room for the 5 new pairs I scored 2 days before Black Friday) and took a moment to visualize getting dressed in these amazing clothes I'd spent hours of my time searching for! I felt like ME again. I felt my sanity coming back to life. I felt creative!

This morning I was so excited to get up and GET DRESSED-- what a surprise! I did my make-up, put on my cream crochet vintage Angel sleeve wrap knit top and my high waisted skinny jeans and drank my hot water with lemon with a big ole goofy smile. While balance might be bull for success, vacations are mandatory for balance. Yin and Yang are happy again. And so am I.

Love,
Angel

About Angel

Angel Quintana is the Founder/CEO of Holistic Fashionista magazine, the #1 online haven for over-achievers in business. Her extensive knowledge in brand building, search engine marketing, and authentic selling strategies naturally attracts rebels, tastemakers, and visionaries who are ready to ditch the copycat syndrome, play by their own rules, and curate a sustainable and profitable brand using the internet. Her innovative coaching program, Signature System helps business trendsetters develop and market a step-by-step plan that solves an urgent problem in the marketplace using what they already have in their personal toolbox, now being offered at her design+marketing house, The Willow House of Design. To learn more take her Business Trendsetter Archetype Quiz or visit her website for details.