It is very important that you look at the other parent, the person you are divorcing, through the eyes of your child. Step back for a moment and see that in your child’s eye, that person is not wrong, that person has not stopped loving them and that person is doing the best they can. When you are with your children, do not speak ill of their other parent. It will allow them to know they are not wrong for loving both of you. As mentioned above, let them know if you are upset but don’t blame anyone for your upset. You have the power to change that upset even if in this moment it’s hard to see.
3| Focus on the good times.
Going through Divorce does not mean you only have to be angry, sad, upset, confused, frustrated all the time, although it’s ok to feel these emotions. Find a way to enjoy this time too. A divorce means you get to create something new. A new home maybe, new friendships, new activities, new possibilities. What have you always wanted to do with your children that you did not do before because it was either the other parent’s activity or they would not want to do it? My ex husband is very creative so I often let him handle arts and crafts or “make a play” activities. But I am very creative too and now I get a lot of joy finger painting with my kids or putting on dance shows. I get to be the whole mother I know myself to be.
When you are having fun, your children will know everything is ok. They will know that even if they now have to see their parents separately, their life will still be filled with love and joy. And as a kid, that’s all they truly want.
